From pulchritude to pork, our finned friends at Weeki Wachee Springs just can't seem to stay out of the headlines.
Headline #1: Chicks of the Sea:
For reasons that I can assure were purely in the interest of research, I came across this item in the current edition of Playboy magazine, which just happens to be the 50th anniversary collector's edition.
There, on Page 37, just above a short article (with before-and-after photos!) about a leather strap that lifts one's derriere to "J. Lo-esque prominence," was a slightly longer story about "Florida's Cherished Fin Fatales."
Most folks around here know them better as Weeki Wachee mermaids.
But those who aren't familiar with the air-hose-breathing underwater entertainers might be inclined to conjure up some pretty salacious images, fueled by the words penned in the unsigned Playboy piece.
The writer describes them as "mouthwatering mermaids" who perform in "Lycra tails and bikini tops."
The men's mag, staying true to its mission to titillate, said "the silent sirens have to resist many calls to go topless," to which Weeki Wachee Mayor-cum-Park Manager-cum-Marketing Maven Robyn Anderson responded, "It would kill the family atmosphere."
Oh, well. There goes the idea of having Joe Redner take over the attraction.
Anderson went on to tell Playboy the water in the spring is "amazing." To prove it, she offered an anecdote: "A manatee came in recently, watched the show and then started sucking on my hip." The writer then opined that the "big lout was acting like a typical male."
Sounds more like a case of one endangered species recognizing another.
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Headline # 2: Bill may finance park's project:
In Wednesday's Times, readers learned that Ginny Brown-Waite is confident that her colleagues in the U.S. Congress will sanction her request to endow the Southwest Florida Water Management District with $200,000 to help improve the quality of water in the spring.
Officials at the water district, also known as Swiftmud, said they aren't sure how they will spend the money, if it is approved, but it could go toward ripping out the antiquated sewer system and hooking into the county's utility.
That certainly should improve the struggling attraction's financial situation. Mayor Anderson, her mom and the other woman who make up the City Council had planned to use most of the park's revenues to make the sewer switch, at the behest of Swiftmud's governing board.
But if the city can persuade Swiftmud to tender Brown-Waite's generous helping of pork for the sewer, it will be a lot easier to balance the books and continue to claim that the park remains a viable enterprise.
Heck, maybe the council members could even lower the property tax rate they recently doubled.
The House isn't scheduled to vote on the appropriations bill until next week. If she hurries, the Republican from Brooksville could still have time to bring home some extra bacon so that Weeki Wachee can afford to pay the high-priced lawyers it hired to fight Hernando County over the purchase of Florida Water Services.
