A few years ago, ad writer Heidi Ross began collecting police reports from the archives of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle in Montana. She had discovered a secret about police blotters mostly shared by the cops who write them and reporters who check them: Blotters are a special literary genre. Regardless of the city, they are too weird to believe and invariably fascinating. Ross has compiled blotter items into a 2004 calendar being sold for $12 on www.mistersmartiepants.com Excerpts were recently published by the Times-Picayune in New Orleans, where Ross now lives. They're reprinted here.
- JOHN BARRY, deputy Floridian editor
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Jan. 1: A man believing himself to be God appeared in the lobby of the Lewis and Clark Motel at 7:40 p.m. and refused to leave. He was later identified as a 26-year-old man from Butte.
Feb. 9: Two men stole a picture of John Wayne from Santa Fe Reds of 1235 North Seventh Ave. during regular business hours. Witnesses tried to tell an employee of the theft as the men left the building, but the employee thought they said pitcher, not picture, and did nothing.
April 11: A man in the first block of West Main Street reported at 1:53 a.m. that his girlfriend came home drunk, wielded a knife, stabbed a box and poured wine on his head. He didn't want to press charges.
June 11: A house cat knocked over a can of static guard in a residence in the 800 block of North Grand Avenue, triggering a chain of events. The can landed on a heater vent, got too hot, exploded, knocked out two windows, started a chair on fire and put a hole in the ceiling.
Aug. 22: A man in a chicken suit and a man in a cow suit were reportedly wandering around a parking lot on South 11th Avenue at 12:45 a.m. The man in the cow suit was allegedly wearing an Afro wig.
Aug. 23: A deputy responded to a report of a domestic dispute at an apartment on Norris Road at 4 a.m. The couple in the apartment said they were listening to rap music, not arguing.
Aug. 26: A caller said he took a TV to a repair shop in August. When he went to pick it up on Tuesday, the shop was gone.
Sept. 22: A caller on Mountain Ash Avenue said a suspicious woman was walking around selling wind chimes.
Oct. 18: A man said someone on the 2700 block of West Mendenhall Street had built an 8-foot snow sculpture of a penis, which his children saw on the way home from school. The sculpture was taken down, and the men who built it were issued a warning.
Nov. 14: A woman on Rose Street said she was chased by a three-legged dog.
Nov. 23: The president of a fraternity house reported at 11:05 p.m. Saturday that he needed help removing about 40 people from the house's front lawn.
