The year in review in Tampa Bay and Florida, some of it made up, Part II:
July 2: City-county tensions rise when St. Petersburg mayor gives noogies to entire Pinellas County Commission.
July 16: Five sewer-line breaks occur in eight days in Pinellas. Surveillance tape catches Largo Mayor Bob Jackson sabotaging county pipes to bolster city's annexation campaign.
July 18: Pinellas school officials reveal new process for registering for magnet or fundamental schools. All parents must call a guy named Barney within a 9-minute, 34-second window on a secret day in December 2009.
July 25: Rookie Tampa City Council member Kevin White working too hard. Deserves raise.
Aug. 2: Court records reveal 10-week absence for Pinellas Circuit Judge Charles W. Cope. Cope is found on his knees in monastery, repentant. Not.
Aug. 2: New $110-million desalination plant clogged up by, among other things, tiny green mussels in waters of Tampa Bay. "There's your problem, right there," says Stan the Plumber. "Whoever worked on this thing last time sure screwed it up."
Aug. 4: Florida Atlantic University is red-faced at the news it bought its departing president a red Corvette. Admits a school trustee: "Obviously, it should have been a Boxter."
Aug. 10: Gov. Jeb Bush announces plan for 240-mile drinking straw reaching from north to south Florida.
Aug. 12: Judge in Tampa rules that the Ice Pal - uh, the St. Pete Times Forum has a current market value of $16.24.
Aug. 21: State is chagrined to learn that $6.72-million of voucher money went to Freddie's School of "Can You Draw This?" Matchbook Art in Cocoa Beach.
Aug. 27: TECO ignores the protests of its own president and board of directors and erects huge, unsightly concrete poles in their yards. No, wait, wrong neighborhood.
Aug. 29: After diligent study of Emmy Acton matter, consultant recommends to Hillsborough County that it be paid a bigger fee.
Sept. 3: Abortion-clinic killer Paul Hill is executed. Then he gets a really big surprise.
Sept. 13: Pinellas County school boss Howard Hinesley gets rid of Macintoshes in all schools for fear they will foster creativity, individuality and ease of use, in other words, "destroying all I've accomplished here."
Sept. 20: State nixes Weeki Wachee deal. Not enough mermaids.
Sept. 24: Judge in Everglades case is removed for being tough on polluters. New judge's comment: "I ain't never seen such a fuss over some cattails and swampwater in all my borned days."
Oct. 16: Gov. Jeb Bush takes aim at "obesity epidemic," names task force. Task force recommends ending sugar subsidy, and letting schools keep recess instead of FCAT study. No, just kidding.
Oct. 19: Faux pas occurs in Tallahassee when a business lobbyist asks for a favor from House Speaker Johnnie Byrd without offering a contribution to his U.S. Senate campaign.
Oct. 22: Florida Legislature forks over $367-million with no public accountability to a company that promises to do something "really cool, you'll see."
Oct. 27: A state board awards the Orlando bullet-train stop to Disney World on a show of hands, several of them wearing white gloves and having only four fingers.
Nov. 5: Tampa General Hospital must repay the $4-million it billed Medicaid for a single aspirin administered to patient Gerd Blosford, 57, of Turkey Creek.
Nov. 7: U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris, R-Sarasota, says she will run for U.S. Senate "if they let me count the votes."
Nov. 23: State lawmakers protest on cutbacks in foot massages and hot towels on taxpayer-paid aircraft.
Nov. 29: Former manatee-protection hotline now connects to phone-sex service. Callers hear extremely heavy breathing and crunching lettuce.
Dec. 29: Governor declares "all these smart newspaper fellas have been right all along," and puts committee of columnists and editorial writers in charge of state.
