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It sounded like such a good idea. Write a column about how our politicians and celebrities are going to ring in the new year.
But you know, our elected officials are not exactly party animals. Mayor Pam Iorio - spending the evening at home with family. Tax Collector Doug Belden - grilling dinner and in bed by 10:30. County Commission Chairman Thomas Scott - making some joyful noise ... at his church.
Woo-hoo. For once I wished we had elected Joe Redner.
Not that there's anything wrong with staying home. Heck, it's probably what I'll do to keep Florence happy. But save for Ken Walters and the 13 Ugly Men, this town seems to be woefully lacking in merrymakers. We need some ringleaders of social mayhem.
Given that there's no chance of my luring Paris Hilton to town, it quickly occurred to me I would be better off just imagining what our notables might be doing tonight.
Warren Sapp. Spending one last New Year's Eve in his Tampa home.
Steve LaBrake. Asking Sapp if he can be his real estate agent.
Robin Guess. The WFTS-Ch. 28 reporter will be Chasing Steve LaBrake with a cameraman. Hey, investigative journalism knows no holidays.
Gen. Tommy Franks. Spending all night playing Stratego.
USF president Judy Genshaft. Sending a bottle of champagne to the federal officials who arrested Sami Al-Arian. Oh wait, she already did that.
Jon Gruden. Ringing in the new year at Keyshawn Johnson's Profusion.
Rich McKay. Ringing in the new year with Keyshawn Johnson.
Gov. Jeb Bush. I don't know what he's planning, but I bet it's devious.
Monsignor Laurence Higgins. He's Irish. You figure it out.
Stephen Hogue. True story. The Tampa police chief is actually going to be on patrol with his officers. I do hope he reminds folks who celebrate with gunfire that what goes up must come down.
Judge Greg Holder. Holding the inaugural Milburn Drysdale look-alike contest.
Derek Jeter. The Yankees shortstop will leave New York City to come to a town that really knows about partying. Hello Lutz.
Lightning general manager Jay Feaster. Sorry, the company does not allow me to make fun of Lightning personnel since we purchased the naming rights to the Ice Palace.
Jim Leavitt. Celebrating the first USF bowl vic ... uhh, never mind.
Earl Lennard. The school superintendent will present revelers with a choice of parties to attend depending on what zone they live in.
Lou Piniella. Same thing he does every night before going to bed - praying for better pitching.
Wendy Ryan. Having the egg nog tested by the Health Department.
Ronda Storms. Getting together with Pat Frank to play a special basketball game of H-O-R-S-E. Except in this game it's K-L-E-M-A-N and you're out.
Ed Turanchik. Up all night playing SimCity.
Florence Hooper. Resolving to do something about her husband in the new year.
That's all I'm saying.
- Ernest Hooper can be reached at 226-3406 or Hooper@sptimes.com