What's your guess about Steve Spurrier? Will he coach again? If so, will it be a return to college football, or will the Washington washout dare be approachable if the NFL offers another shot? He could also retire as a rich, famous, 58-year-old grandfather.
The Ol' Ball Coach can be a man of mystery. He likes trying to fool people. Even if, with the Redskins, he seemed to fool himself. So, I was thinking, what would be the wildest, oddest job Spurrier could take?
I've got it!
Spurrier says he will skip the 2004 season. He'll be watching as Ron Zook strains to get Spurrier's old team, the Florida Gators, back to championship prominence.
If there is a Gator slump next fall, the heat will zoom. Even if Zook just got a two-year contract extension. Spurrier advocates will politick for him to be back in the role that led UF to its brightest football hours ever.
I don't see that happening.
So here's my stunner, for UF fans, but even more for followers of the Florida State Seminoles: Bobby Bowden will decide to retire after next season, and Spurrier will be named to replace him.
Can you think of anything more strange? Odder than Ted Kennedy becoming a Republican or Eminem going into gospel singing. Spurrier leading the Seminole Chop. Vowing to demolish the Gators he has loved. Becoming the hope of FSU people who have loathed him.
Or maybe my imagination has gone berserk.
Hey, who would have thought Joe Gibbs would return to the 'Skins? I figured Nebraska might wind up refitting Tom Osborne. Mike Ditka back to the Bears? Retro is in. Shula to the Dolphins? Nah, not Don, not Mike and not David.
MUNCHIES: E-mail from Darren Claiborne of Atlanta says, "You wrote that Heisman Trophy winner Jason White isn't one of the 20 or 30 best players in college football, but I beg to differ. After watching him against Kansas State and LSU, I don't think this guy is among the top 200. ... Constantly, TV announcers say, "He got a good spot,' which unfortunately means an advantageous and not an accurate placing of the football by officials."
BELIEVE IT: "Being a retired English teacher from Indiana," e-mails Marjorie Rousseau of Palm Harbor, "I saved an article you wrote a few years ago that decried massive misuse of the word "unbelievable.' Hubert, your attack hasn't helped.
"Since you noted that the "unbelievable' items involved are almost never truly beyond belief, the word has bonged against my brain. It drives me batty. Former players are the worst but announcing pros also use it.
"So, as college bowl games and NFL playoffs were going on, I spent one entire weekend recording how many times announcers leaned on the "unbelievable' crutch.
"I watched seven games and many of the shows from studios. They used "unbelievable' an astonishing 63 times. ESPN guys once used it five times in four minutes. Although, as you wrote, the items being termed "unbelievable' are entirely believable in the course of athletic competition, can anything be done to curb the "unbelievable' menace?"
HUBERT'S TAKE: I see little hope, Marjorie. If producers cared, they would caution announcers to quit using the term. They should put it in the same category as curse words that are disallowed on most TV networks. If somebody uses "unbelievable," red lights and sirens should go off and the talking head should be fined a week's pay. I wish there were bosses in TV who cared.
THE LAST WORD: It was bigger than Bill Parcells resurfacing in Dallas. More like Vince Lombardi being alive again and going back to the Packers. Or the Beatles to Liverpool.
Washington is a metropolis of massive occurances, but not even politics can trigger the hope, euphoria and recollections of Gibbs' rebirth as Redskins coach.
For the Washington Post, it was a splash to rival coverage of President Nixon's departure, flashing from every nook of the newspaper. People on the street were buzzing like the day of Saddam's capture. Passions about D.C.'s pro football team run bone-deep in generations of 'Skins disciples.
They expect the 21st-century Gibbs to be as hot as the lord of Super Bowl rings who paraded three Lombardi Trophies through the District as cheers echoed across borders into Virginia and Maryland. Gibbs is a devout man of God who, to sporting Washingtonians, is a football god.
Spurrier has been as quickly forgotten as last week's head cold. Filed away with four other losing Redskins bosses who tried between Gibbs and Gibbs. It seemed so unlikely Gibbs would return from his NASCAR speed trip, lovers of the burgundy and gold weren't even bothering to pray for such a happening.
Gibbs is a driven, calm, businesslike wizard. He would make a good president, I mean if this more celebrated D.C. calling hadn't come with the 'Skins.
I first knew him in 1978 as the Bucs quarterback coach, working with a gifted but raw rookie named Doug Williams, who almost 10 years later would be given a Washington shot by "the coach who believed in me like nobody else," and Dougie pitched the Joe-skins to one of those Super Bowl championships.
Wow, the NFC East is cooking.
Can't wait ... Redskins-Cowboys ... Retro Tuna vs. Retro Joe.
