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Sexual healer

The Dr. Ruth of Davis Islands was inspired to change "shameful messages and stupid messages about sexuality."

DAVIS ISLANDS - At cocktail parties, when Judith Curts chats about her occupation, heads turn. Usually, some guy will remark: "I bet you could tell me a lot of things."

But mostly, "People are very interested, which tells me, they are interested in sexuality."

Curts is the Dr. Ruth of Davis Islands. Her business card reads: clinical sexologist.

You would think with Valentine's Day around the corner, this is her favorite time of the year. Far from the truth.

"I hate that Valentine's Day - one day - is dedicated to love," she said. "It should be all the time."

Curts is certified by the same board that certified Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the American Academy of Clinical Sexology.

For 12 years, she had an office in New Tampa. In July, she moved to Davis Islands, at 238 E Davis Blvd., but still keeps her New Tampa office one day a week. She lives along the water in South Tampa.

Curts has no secretary. No waiting room. She schedules clients far apart so "you don't see anybody coming in or out," she said. "It's a small town."

Her office is soundproof. It has a fireplace and a comfy couch "so it feels like you're in your living room," she said.

Curts starts her sessions by saying, "How can I help you? What's going on?"

Her clients often beat around the bush - mentioning everything but sex.

"I'm usually the one who brings up sex," Curts said.

Curts developed a system to ease into the conversation.

If the clients are talking about how angry they are with each other, Curts says: "I bet your sex life is really suffering, tell me about that."

Usually there is a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. We can talk about this."

Curts didn't grow up talking about sex. In fact, it was shameful to do so.

"I think why I am so interested in sex is that when I was young, I received all these shameful messages and stupid messages about sexuality," she said. "It was something never talked about."

She was born in Winter Park, raised in St. Augustine and brought up Christian. In high school, she wanted to be a journalist. One of her articles for the school newspaper: Sex and Daytona Beach.

At the University of Florida, she majored in English literature. She received a second undergraduate degree at the University of South Florida in women's studies. Her master's, also at USF, is in clinical social work.

During college, Curts worked as a rape and crisis counselor at Hillsborough County Crisis Center. She talked to teens in high schools about acquaintance rape. Her master's thesis topic focused on how to use group therapy to heal from acquaintance rape.

In her years of private practice in New Tampa, Curts offered marriage counseling to many couples.

Four years ago, she decided to specialize in sex therapy.

Becoming a sex therapist requires one year of specialized classes taught by the American Academy of Clinical Sexology.

Curts did her dissertation, which took three years, on how the women's movement changed female baby boomers' attitudes about sex.

"It hasn't," said Curts. "There is still shame on sex and lack of freedom."

Curts attended the World Congress of Sexology convention in Paris two years ago. She has given "Women, Sex and Economics" talks and co-chaired couples' therapy groups.

Colleague Steve Shealy, a clinical psychologist in Tampa, said Curts has a knack for making couples feel at ease.

"She is comfortable in her own skin and that allows others to be comfortable also," he said.

She doesn't prescribe drugs.

About 65 percent of her clients are male, she said. Most are "high functioning professionals," ages 18 to 75, of any sexual preference.

Some of her clients are "DINS" - double income no sex couples who are so busy, they don't have time for sex, she said.

"But they have time to get their nails done or watch football game," she said.

And so, for Valentine's Day, Curts offers some suggestions:

"Oral sex and by that, I mean talk, talk, talk. Talk about what you're missing, what you're wanting."

"Focus on time and comfort. Get away from all the outside things."

"Put the kids to bed. Have a picnic in the living room or in the lanai. Don't do anything that involves work. Get Chinese food. Light some candles and feed each other strawberries and chocolate."

PROFESSION: Sex guru.

AGE: 50-something.

HOW LONG IN TAMPA: 30 years.

CHILDREN: Three. Ages 31, 26 and 25.

CURRENT BOOK: Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes, about a 35-year-old, recently divorced San Francisco writer who travels to Tuscan countryside to begin a new life.

HER IDEA OF ROMANCE: The beach. "I love the water."

RATES: $150 to $175 an hour.