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Like everybody else in the bay area, Norrine Russell can't get that videotape out of her head, the one of Carlie Brucia being led away by an attacker.
We don't know what happened later, but in the few moments captured on tape, Carlie didn't fight back.
Russell doesn't point that out to be critical. She says most girls would react the same way.
Russell is in a position to know. She is a psychologist and director of research, evaluation and leadership programs for the Ophelia Project of Tampa Bay, a campaign to improve the lives of girls in Hillsborough County.
I don't usually write about causes, speeches and programs that happen in the bay area. There are too many good ones. I would hardly write about anything else. But the Ophelia Project is conducting a critical event on Saturday, called V-Day. It's in a class all its own.
V-Day's purpose is to teach girls how to avoid violence, and when they can't, how to respond. The program is also intended to teach girls to stand up to pressure to do things they don't want to do, everything from having sex to drinking and drugging. Saying no can be a lonely prospect, when it looks like everybody else is saying yes.
Getting the message across is not as easy or as obvious as it seems. The message, in fact, challenges the values girls are taught to live by.
"Nice girls aren't aggressive," says Russell. And they certainly aren't taught to raise their voices, nor to fight back when challenged or threatened.
This Saturday, the teaching begins in 90-minute seminars, held for girls 12 and older, at seven locations of the Tampa-Metropolitan Area YMCA.
V-Day is part of an international effort to stop violence against women. It has its roots in a celebrated play, Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, which is about women's sexuality and the violence too many of us endure.
The event was planned long before Carlie Brucia's death. The V in the name V-Day stands for vagina, from the play, and for victory, the day when violence against women might finally end.
The V also represents Valentine's Day - which falls on Saturday - because most violence against girls and women is perpetrated by somebody they know or even love, like boyfriends, fathers, stepfathers.
It's a strange task that Russell and other speakers have taken on.
In a sense, the goal is to teach girls that it's okay to be mean.
That involves teaching girls everything from screaming "No!" to learning some basic moves to break away from another person's grip, even acts that could hurt the other person.
"We'll have a hard time convincing girls to shove a key into someone's eye," Russell said.
"A good pinch on the inner forearm will surprise someone long enough to let you run, and most children can run faster than adults."
Russell urges girls who attend the program to bring their mothers and female friends. Mothers and daughters can learn how to talk to each other about these issues. And girls, coming together in their own groups, can support each other as they struggle to make choices about boys and the rest of life.
The event has met with such a response that spaces are now only available Saturday at the Central City Tampa and Plant City YMCAs. (If you want to get one of the last seats, call Russell at 813-224-9622. The cost is $5 per person or $8 for an adult with a child. If you can't afford it, admission is free.)
The V-Day program is regrettably not offered in counties other than Hillsborough, even though the demand is there.
"We've been overwhelmed with the response," Russell said. "We have requests every day to come and speak at schools, at youth groups, and we just don't have the capacity. We don't have the staff."
Someday, I hope they do. That V-Day has met with such a strong response reveals much about the problems girls face and the answers they need. It is not a stretch to say this: Girls' lives depend on what they are taught.
- You can reach Mary Jo Melone at mjmelone@sptimes.com or 813 226-3402.