SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. - A winter without his father beside him in the batting cage weighed more heavily on Barry Bonds' mind than his connection to a lab at the center of an alleged steroid ring.
"It's been difficult," the slugger said Monday, sitting in the dugout at soggy Scottsdale Stadium. "Just hard all the way around. I broke down a couple times in the batting cage just due to the fact he wasn't with me. He's been my coach my whole life."
Bonds, surrounded by reporters on his first day at spring training, appeared in December before a grand jury probing the San Francisco supplements lab accused of illegally distributing steroids to dozens of athletes. The six-time National League MVP has said repeatedly he never used steroids.
"They can test me every day if they choose to," said Bonds, who is right around his 228-pound playing weight.
After last season, Bonds seriously considered walking away from baseball for good, unable to imagine playing without his dad. Bobby, who had been ill for nearly a year with lung cancer and a brain tumor, died in August at age 57.
But the Giants slugger pushed on at the urging of his mother, his wife and godfather Willie Mays.
"I couldn't hit. I didn't want to go in the cage. I didn't want to swing the bat," Bonds said. "I really didn't want any part of it for a while."
Now, another important member of Bonds' supporting cast, trainer Greg Anderson, won't be around. Anderson was absent Monday when Bonds showed up for camp a day ahead of the voluntary reporting date for position players.
Anderson, often seen with Bonds at spring training and during the season, was among four men charged this month in what federal prosecutors say was a steroid-distribution ring that supplied professional athletes with banned substances. All the men have pleaded innocent and no athletes have been charged.
"I feel bad for him," Bonds said. "I feel sad. We grew up together. We're friends. It's unfortunate what he's having to go through."
About the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, which is at the center of the federal steroids case, Bonds said: "There's nothing I can do about it right now. I have to go out and play baseball and, hopefully, it will blow over. ...
"I believe if I wasn't going for records, it would be a nullified situation," said Bonds, who is two home runs shy of tying Mays for third on the career list with 660. "If you want to be at the top, you've got to have broad shoulders."
WEIGHT LOSS NATURAL, GIAMBI SAYS: Noticeably trimmer to Joe Torre and most everyone else at Yankees camp, Jason Giambi explained that better eating habits and hard workouts had left him leaner. He emphasized one more thing: Steroids had never been a part of his diet.
Giambi said he'd lost four pounds to 228 during the offseason by cutting back on fast foods and doing extensive rehab from knee surgery. Standing at his locker at Legends Field, his chest, biceps and legs appeared smaller, enough so that many people did a double take when they saw him walk through the clubhouse.
"My weight is almost exactly the same," he said. "Just cleaning it up and losing some of that excess body fat I had."
Giambi and new teammate Gary Sheffield testified Dec.11 before a grand jury probing BALCO. Being subpoenaed did not mean an athlete was a target of the investigation.
Asked whether he had taken performance-enhancing drugs, Giambi said: "Are you talking about steroids? No."
Meanwhile, shortstop Derek Jeter tried to put to rest talk of a feud with newly acquired Alex Rodriguez.
"We don't have problems," Jeter insisted. "Let's get that out there."
Sunday, Rodriguez admitted their close friendship took a hit in early 2001 after he made critical remarks about Jeter. Even after A-Rod was traded from Texas, there seemed to be a coolness between them.
Jeter interrupted his workout to try to defuse the issue.
"I'd say let it go," he said. "It's over with."
Said Rodriguez: "I consider Derek my brother. It's all over with."
Also, Yankees right-hander Jon Lieber will miss his next scheduled mound session because of an injured right groin. The injury is not considered serious.
MEMORABILIA FRAUD: Former umpire Al Clark pleaded guilty in Newark, N.J., to conspiracy to commit mail fraud in connection with selling baseballs he falsely claimed had been used in memorable games. Clark had claimed some of the balls were used during games in which Cal Ripken tied and broke Lou Gehrig's consecutive games record.
ASTROS: Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan has agreed to a five-year personal services contract, the Associated Press reported. Ryan's deal is to be announced at a news conference today.
A'S: Left-hander Mark Mulder said he is completely healthy after missing nearly two months last season with a stress fracture near his right hip.
BRAVES: Catcher/outfielder Eli Marrero agreed to a contract extension through the 2005 season.
CARDINALS: Left-hander Luis Martinez was claimed off waivers from the Brewers.
MARINERS: Right-handed reliever Rafael Soriano strained a muscle on the left side of his abdomen about halfway through an eight-minute throwing session. The extent of the injury wasn't immediately known and was to be re-evaluated today.
PIRATES: Free-agent outfielder Raul Mondesi passed his physical and finalized a one-year contract with a team option for 2005.
REDS: Left-hander Mark Watson agreed to a minor-league contract. Watson appeared in two games last season but developed inflamed kidneys in August, ending his season.
TWINS: Manager Ron Gardenhire named right-hander Brad Radke, a former Tampa Jesuit standout, to start the season opener against Cleveland on April 5.
WHITE SOX: Right-hander Esteban Loaiza passed on the chance to start the season opener to repay a favor to left-hander Mark Buehrle, who gave up his final start last season so that Loaiza could get his 21st win. "I think it was real class and real unselfish," manager Ozzie Guillen said. "They treat each other like professionals."
