Girls learn when it's not so desirable to be polite and demure.
By ANNE LINDBERG
Published February 25, 2004
PINELLAS PARK - Seven middle school girls stand in a circle, one leg back, palms forward, fingers slightly curled.
As one, they kick, then slam their palms forward and up, as they scream, KEEE-AYE!
They do it over and over.
This is lesson six of a 12-week course that teaches girls 9 to 13 years old how to be safe from abduction and molestation. Since 2002, Girls Inc. of Pinellas in Pinellas Park has offered the course to kids who participate in its programs.
But with the kidnapping and slaying of 11-year-old Carlie Brucia in Sarasota, the lessons hit home.
"They got off the bus talking about it," said Betty Crames, Girls Inc. executive director.
Part of that talk, said course instructor Kathy Sharkey, were comments on what Carlie had done wrong, how she should have acted, and what they would have done in her place.
For Sharkey, the comments meant the lessons, which combine self-defense techniques with discussions about safety, were taking hold.
Last Wednesday's lesson began, as usual, with a recitation of children's rights: To feel safe. To be respected. To be listened to. To decide who touches them and when. To say yes or no and to change their minds.
The lesson soon segued into a discussion about trusting. Sharkey asked each girl if she had an adult she could trust enough to talk to should something bad happen. Although all seven said yes, only a few named a parent as that adult.
As Thursday's class for 9- and 10-year-olds learned the same lessons, again few named a parent. One named counselors at Girls Inc. and another said she could talk to her dog.
The discussion includes comments about guilt, that it's not the girl's fault if something happens to her.
"It's not so much the techniques that are important, it's the discussions that come from it," Sharkey said.
But techniques are a big part of the lessons. The first exercise was designed to have kids use their voices more forcefully.
They were asked to complete the statement "I don't like it when you . . ."
Cindy Brown said in a soft voice: "I don't like it when you call me stupid."
Sharkey to aide Peggy Cannon: "Now, Miss Peggy, do you believe her?"
Cannon: "No."
Sharkey to Cindy: "Make it stronger."
Cindy: "It's just pretend."
Sharkey: "Pretend it's real."
Cindy, a bit more certain: "I don't like it when you push me."
Sharkey: "Stronger."
Cindy, in a much clearer, more forceful voice: "I don't like it when you hit me."
Sharkey moves around the room, stopping to coach: Telling one child not to smile when she says she dislikes. Instructing another to look her in the eye. Urging another to "convince me."
She concludes the exercise by telling them to stand straight and walk as if they have confidence even if they have none.
After, they work on the self-defense technique of the week: Using the heels of one's palm to hit an attacker in the nose. They practice, with the KEEE-AYE interspersed with giggles.
They combine the hand motion with a kick they learned earlier in the course.
All the time, Sharkey gives them tips:
"You need to make a commotion."
"Never, ever go somewhere with someone who has a weapon because, more than likely, you're not going to come back alive."
"Do whatever you need to do to get out of a dangerous situation. There is no right or wrong in that."
