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That noise you hear is me eating my words.
Not for a skinny minute did I think Clear Channel Communications would dump Bubba the Love Sponge.
I believed his bosses would treat the $755,000 fine the Federal Communications Commission wants to levy against him as a cost of doing business.
Chomp, chomp.
Such is the power of politics. Some people think it's a cynical act, that in firing Bubba, Clear Channel merely conducted a preemptive strike to deflect criticism by the FCC and Congress.
But when is a decision involving government not driven by the cross-currents of politics? Powerful people win. People without power lose. Some issues, like this one of indecency in broadcasting, finally become ripe for action. (Thank you for your naked breast, Janet Jackson.) Other issues, like raising the federal minimum wage, stay stuck in the dark.
Bubba, Tampa Bay's No. 1 bad boy homeboy, now has more publicity than he ever longed for. His name is on the national news wires, even in the Wall Street Journal. He's sharing the marquee with Howard Stern. He's also been unloaded by Clear Channel.
John Hogan, president of the company, fell on his sword Thursday. He told a congressional committee he was ashamed of Bubba's show.
Bully for him. What took him so long?
For years, Clear Channel has stood mute about Bubba. He was the goose that laid the golden egg.
Even when a pig was slaughtered on the air during his show, all Clear Channel did publicly was call the act despicable.
It's amazing what a three-quarter-million dollar embarrassment will do, when coupled with the possibility of a ten-fold increase in indecency fines. From now on, Clear Channel's DJs will be fired if they broadcast indecent material, we're promised. They'll have to pay half the fines the FCC levies.
Some people say what is being done to dear Bubba is a terrible violation of First Amendment rights, but I find that hard to buy.
For one thing, this is all about money to Clear Channel: when Bubba made it and, now, when he threatens the bottom line.
Bubba's shtick isn't about ideas, what to do about the schools or who the mayor should be. It's about garbage, spewed on airwaves that theoretically belong to everybody.
Clear Channel paid for the right to broadcast on those airwaves, but it was expected to not abuse that privilege. The company was expected by law to keep Bubba's idea of thought, if you can call it thought, off the air from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m., when kids might listen.
Clear Channel does have a point when it complains about the FCC rules. They're patently unfair because they apply only to broadcast stations - AM and FM radio, and the TV networks we all grew up with.
The law hasn't kept up with the changes in media. So the rules don't apply to cable TV. They don't apply to satellite radio, satellite TV, or the Internet.
To be sure, making a rule won't be easy. It would have to apply not just to Bubba but also to Tony Soprano.
I never thought I'd talk like some Sunday morning preacher. But I'm a parent now, facing the nearly impossible job of sheltering my child, particularly as she gets older, from the onslaught of off-color and inappropriate stuff that passes for entertainment. And I remember the civilized days of radio. I came to newspapers from a decade in the business.
Stations then had to devote a specific amount of time to news and public affairs. If you talked about an important local issue, you had to air competing views. The whole atmosphere was different. You certainly couldn't swear. You couldn't even make a wink-wink joke about sex.
Rest assured our bad boy homeboy is only down, not out. On his Web site, Bubba says he wants to get a show on satellite radio. He tells his fans to e-mail a satellite radio operation, XM Radio, to lobby for him and get him back on the air. If he gets a slot, Bubba promises to take his show "to a whole new level."
I can hardly wait.
- You can reach Mary Jo Melone at mjmelone@sptimes.com or 813 226-3402.