To Gaudin, there is no 'can't'

Physical obstacles, emotional scars haven't stopped Rays pen hopeful from rocketing up ladder.

	[Times photo: Michael Rondou]
	Chad Gaudin, who turns 21 in March, reached the majors last season within a month after pitching the first perfect game in organizational history.

ST. PETERSBURG - His blood already had stained home plate. His father rushed from the stands to help him off the field. His coaches scrambled for towels and ice to contain the damage.

But sitting in the Crescent City Baptist (La.) High dugout, his left eye bloodied and swollen all but shut after being struck by the foul ball off his own bat, Chad Gaudin could think of only one thing: getting back to the mound to finish the perfect game he'd started.

"It was bad," Gaudin said. "There was blood everywhere, but I was like, "Man, I've got to pitch.' I knew I was okay 'cause my eye wasn't popped out of my head. So I said, "You know what: I'm finishing this thing.' "

Battered and bruised, he got two quick outs only to lose perfection when an infield popup dropped in. Gaudin stepped off the mound and blew off some steam, then blew three strikes by the next batter for the final out.

"It was," Devil Rays scout Benny Latino said, "the greatest thing I ever saw."

Gaudin, entering his second season with the Rays, doesn't cease to amaze.

For a kid who had been told repeatedly he was too small (5 feet 91/2 in high school), too light (160 pounds), too this and too that to pitch in the big leagues, all Gaudin (GO-dan) did was get there by age 20 and show enough that the Rays expect him to stick around for years.

"My whole life I've heard that I couldn't do it," Gaudin said. "Just over and over. I was too short, I wasn't strong enough, I didn't throw hard enough. I kind of use it like a weapon. I turn it around and it just gives me more drive to do it. Not that I didn't have it anyway. But it just kind of pushed me even more.

"When somebody says you can't do it, I don't believe in that. CAN'T. I just hate that word. There are some physical things that can't happen, like defying the law of gravity. You throw a ball up and it's just going to hover; that's impossible. But things that are possible, for people to just say I can't do this, it's too much. I can't. I just hate that."

Gaudin has overcome the supposed physical deficiencies. He went from Class A Bakersfield to Double-A Orlando to the Rays last season in less than a month, and he has made enough of an impression on manager Lou Piniella with his fearlessness and his fastball that he appears to have a head start in this spring's competition for a bullpen job.

He also has overcome significant mental scars. When Gaudin was 18, his lifelong best friend, Brennan Bourgeois, virtually died in his arms. The two were at the same gathering spot in December 2001 when Bourgeois collapsed after taking what police said was the illegal drug GHB and started having respiratory failure. Others in the crowd said Bourgeois would be fine, but Gaudin insisted he be taken to the hospital. He held him as they rode in the back of a truck, but Bourgeois slipped into a coma and died 10 days later.

The loss was devastating, putting Gaudin and friends in a fog for months. Gaudin came around in time for his first spring training and, keeping Bourgeois' memory near, channeled his grief into a positive experience.

"I think about him every day, and I think he's helped me along the way," Gaudin said. "He's been right there on my shoulder the whole time.

"There's a lot of times when I'm on the mound and I get into a jam or something and I'll turn around and I'll be like, "B' - I used to call him B - "B, help me out.' I'll talk to him. It might sound stupid, but that's just how it is."

Gaudin has had other help along the way. He was a little-noticed pitcher at a small high school until one of his coaches knew somebody who knew Latino, who happened to be looking for pitching help for a team he was taking to an October 2000 wood bat tournament in Jupiter.

Gaudin not only impressed Latino enough to make the team, he ended up pitching the opening game, beating the defending champs and breaking a half-dozen bats.

LSU assistant coach Turtle Thomas saw enough to offer a scholarship, but Gaudin had more interest in learning pro ball than college math. The Rays were the only team keeping in touch, and when Latino saw Gaudin's effort in the near-perfect game that spring, he'd seen enough ability and tenacity to know he wanted him.

"I didn't go see him again," Latino said. "I couldn't see him any better, and I couldn't be more impressed, so why go back?"

Latino invited Gaudin to his annual predraft workout but didn't tell the other Rays officials much about his hot prospect with the small body and big heart. The night before the session, Latino had his bosses over to the sports bar he owns for a crawfish boil and Gaudin, with nothing else to do, helped serve food and drinks.

When the workout was about over the next day, Latino said there was one more pitcher to throw. As Gaudin went to the mound, a couple of team officials wondered aloud what the bartender was doing throwing. They weren't laughing for long.

"I can tell you I wasn't too enthused until I saw him throw," former Rays scouting director Dan Jennings said. "Pretty good for a barkeep!"

The Rays drafted Gaudin in the 34th round, signed him for around $125,000 three days before he was going to start classes at LSU and sent him to Class A in 2002.

His 4-6 showing and team-record 2.26 ERA at Class A Charleston, S.C., was worth three lines in the 2003 team media guide. His performance last season was headline news: a 5-3, 2.13 start at Bakersfield, a seven-inning perfect game in the first of three starts at Orlando and a 2-0 record and 3.60 ERA during his two months in the big leagues.

How does he do it?

"A lot of guts and a lot of determination," Double-A pitching coach Dick Bosman said. "He is not intimidated. And his stuff ain't bad."

Gaudin can get his fastball into the 93-94 mph range. He isn't afraid to throw the ball over the plate. He uses a somewhat unconventional low three-quarters delivery slot that makes him extremely tough on right-handed hitters.

Not acting like he's a 20-year-old in the big leagues doesn't hurt, either.

"He's very self-confident and when he sets his mind to a course, a team of wild horses ain't going to get him off it," said Rays pitching coach Chuck Hernandez, the former minor-league coordinator. "He gets to the point. And he understands the point is to get hitters out. He doesn't get all carried away with his potential and everything else. He just thinks he's supposed to do this all now."

Gaudin tries to keep it simple. He'd rather pass on the attention and get straight to action. He's confident enough to believe in himself but not cocky enough to let it show. He admits to being more antsy than he lets on, but his calm demeanor and ability to not be fazed or overwhelmed by his surroundings has been critical to his success. He never allowed himself to bask in where he was for fear that he'd lose his place and wouldn't get back.

When Gaudin was called up unexpectedly from Orlando, he had to rush to get to Kansas City, had to meet his new teammates, try on his new uniform and learn the team signs and how to act like a big-leaguer.

Then came the hard part, coming in to replace injured Joe Kennedy in the second inning. He pitched 21/3 innings and allowed one run on three hits.

When he called home to Louisiana late that night, his father, George, asked, "How'd you feel pitching in front of 33,000 in Kansas City stadium?"

Chad's answer: "I didn't know there was anyone there."

Gaudin knows there is room to grow, physically (he's up to 5-101/4 - "Don't forget that three-quarters of an inch," he said - and 185 pounds), mentally and professionally.

But he also knows he has to keep doing what he has been doing, and proving people wrong along the way.

"To this day, it doesn't matter what I do," Gaudin said. "I could throw 18 perfect games in a row and it doesn't matter. People are still going say I'm too short, I'm going to break down. I guess I'm always going to have that."