St. Petersburg Times Online: Business

Weather | Sports | Forums | Comics | Classifieds | Calendar | Movies

Let's all play THE FEUD

TOM JONES
Published March 7, 2004

The last time we saw the Red Sox and Yankees on the field together, Tim Wakefield's knuckleball was disappearing into the left field stands of Yankee Stadium, Aaron Boone was circling the bases and Sox fans were counting the minutes until manager Grady Little was fired. That was five months ago. Today in Fort Myers, the two teams meet again for the first time since Game 7 of last year's ALCS, but the rivalry did not take a break in the offseason. Four letters fuelled the offseason nastiness: A-Rod. Here's the offseason breakdown of what happened with the Red Sox-Yankees, baseball's version of the Hatfields and McCoys.

BEST OFFSEASON MOMENT

Red Sox: We got Curt Schilling!

Yankees: Guess where A-Rod is going?

WORST OFFSEASON MOMENT

Red Sox: A-Rod went where?!

Yankees: No fair, Roger retired!

CONSEQUENCES OF A-ROD DEAL

Red Sox: Hey, Nomar, buddy-old-pal, you're not mad, are you? Nomar?

Yankees: Whatever happened to Aaron Boone?

OFFSEASON CONTROVERSY

Red Sox: Nomar? Are you there? Nomar?

Yankees: Hey, Sheff, there's a package here for you and Jason.

DONALD TRUMP MOMENT

Red Sox: Grady, you're fired.

Yankees: Aaron, you're fired.

OFFSEASON DESCRIPTION IF IT WERE A BROADWAY SHOW

Red Sox: Damn Yankees!

Yankees: The Producers.

OFFSEASON DESCRIPTION IF WERE A ROLLING STONES SONG

Red Sox: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction.

Yankees: New Faces.

OFFSEASON DESCRIPTION IF IT WERE A TELEVISION SHOW

Red Sox: Less Than Perfect.

Yankees: Charmed.

OFFSEASON DESCRIPTION IF IT WERE A SHAKESPEARE PLAY

Red Sox: Much Ado About Nothing.

Yankees: All's Well That Ends Well.

THE OWNERS' FIGHTIN' WORDS

Red Sox: "(The Yankees) have gone so insanely beyond the sources of other teams"

Yankees: "Get on with life and forget the sour grapes."

TRANSLATION OF OWNERS' FIGHTIN' WORDS

Red Sox: "Waaaaaaaaaaa."

Yankees: "Get on with life and forget the sour grapes."

© Copyright, St. Petersburg Times. All rights reserved.