For Deborah Norville, it was a relief and a revelation.
The occasion: a February broadcast discussing Mel Gibson's film The Passion of the Christ. Facing the camera for her new MSNBC show, Deborah Norville Tonight, the woman on the marquee wanted a moment to answer a viewer's angry letter.
The line that really caught her attention lambasted "you nonbelievers who delight in criticizing Christians." So Norville, 45, decided it was time to speak up.
"I accepted Christ when I was 15," said Norville, recalling what she told the camera and her average audience of about 250,000. "For (the writer) to think I was a nonbeliever means that I have been able to put my own point of view to the side. . . . I took it as a tremendous compliment."
But when it came to Gibson's explicit rendering of Christ's death - now one of the year's most popular movies - Norville had to be honest with her audience: She probably wasn't going to see it.
"I'm the person who sits at Good Friday services and cries listening to the Scripture," she said, calling by cell phone from her office in Manhattan. "The Bible spends very little time discussing the details of Christ's death. What it does spend a great deal of time talking about is God's love. And that's what I choose to focus on."
In a cable TV news universe where the Bill O'Reillys and Joe Scarboroughs rail nightly against the so-called "liberal media elite" and "meaningless finger-pointing over 9/11," it might seem a mild admission.
Certainly, nobody's going to confuse Norville's revelation of religious conviction with ABC anchor Peter Jennings or NBC anchor Tom Brokaw finally dropping the pretense and telling viewers what they really think of President Bush or the war in Iraq.
But for Norville, a fallen network star who may have pulled off the ultimate career rehabilitation since getting fired from the Today show 13 years ago, it was a license to be herself on air (validated by 150 mostly supportive e-mails viewers sent after the show).
And it's now the spark she hopes will keep her off the growing list of Folks Who Got Canned from MSNBC.
"The challenge for me, with this new show, is to allow me to act more frequently on that gut instinct," Norville said. "On cable, there's a certain amount of opinion, like talk radio, that's required to get people into the tent. They can agree or disagree with you, but they react emotionally to whatever statement you've made, and you've got them."
Still, mistakes such as reporting a story from the satirical Web site the Onion as real news - which Norville did about two weeks ago, noting that 58 percent of all exercise in America is broadcast on television - don't refute those who say too much of cable news is filled with empty opinions and meaningless reportage.
And the road to TV purgatory is paved with broadcasters who tried to make a mark with their attitude on ratings-challenged MSNBC, bringing hopeful programs to its prime time, only to see their efforts chewed up by the buzz saw of cable news' relentless pace.
Consider the short list: former Republican presidential candidate Alan Keyes, TV talk legend Phil Donahue, talk radio nutcase Michael Savage, wrestler-turned-governor-turned-laughingstock Jesse Ventura. All tried to be the face that saved MSNBC, and all got kicked to the curb within months for their trouble.
It's telling that Norville has kept her day job, hosting the tabloid TV news show Inside Edition while also helming Tonight. So what makes her think she can succeed where Donahue and Ventura failed?
"I don't think I'm anything like Michael Savage or Jesse Ventura. . . . People know who I am, where I'm coming from and what I'm all about," she said, laughing a little. "There's a relatability and an approachability there that (viewers) may not be feeling somewhere else."
And she has put her foot down about one issue: no shouting.
"I live in New York City, I've got three kids. . . . I got enough going on in my life, I don't need to flip on the television and see people screaming at each other," said Norville, who still references her small town Georgia roots in conversation. "You know how Bill O'Reilly has his "No Spin Zone?' Well, I like to think of Norville Tonight as the "No Shout Zone.' "
Whether that's enough to snare viewers on a cable network that hasn't come close to rivals CNN and Fox News Channel since the beginning of the Iraq War, even some experts can't predict.
"They've tried for the last few years to compete with Fox, having a prime-time lineup dependent on personalities . . . and it's just been a revolving door," said media analyst Andrew Tyndall, who also said he hadn't seen Norville's show much. "I suppose (the concept) originated in talk radio. But they've found no way to compete."
Tyndall pointed to the February hiring of former ABC News and CNN executive Rick Kaplan as MSNBC president a month after Norville's show debuted as possible evidence of the cable network's latest direction. With a background in network news and breaking news coverage, Kaplan offers a chance for MSNBC to get back to what viewers have most responded to in recent years: expanded exposure for NBC News on cable.
"If you want to watch news in prime time, there's three 24-hour cable news channels but only one newscast (CNN anchor Aaron Brown's News Night)," Tyndall said. "I'd repackage stuff by (Meet the Press') Tim Russert, (Dateline NBC's) Stone Phillips and (Today's) Matt Lauer," Tyndall said. "What they're really saying (about) Deborah Norville is here's where you go to get the tabloid stuff . . . even though the (MSNBC) program really isn't tabloid."
Norville disagreed, saying Kaplan has assured her that "he believes he's got a prime-time lineup that is the right one. . . . He just needs to water and feed it."
It's not long before you realize such focused optimism is a constant with Norville - once called the Scarlett O'Hara of TV news - who never gets through an interview without people asking her about The Job.
Tapped to replace beloved Today show anchor Jane Pauley in 1989, Norville lasted two years before the firestorm of criticism over how the older Pauley was pushed out prompted NBC to remove her for current morning TV news queen Katie Couric.
Since then, Norville has earned loads of brownie points with the public by handling her lambasting well. She scored a show on ABC radio and then on CBS before landing on Inside Edition. She also used the experience to pen a 1997 book, Back on Track: How to Straighten Out Your Life When It Throws You a Curve.
"You remember the passing of the clock? (Today show anchors traditionally hand new folks a clock to celebrate how early they'll be getting up.) It was broken," she said, laughing. "It was an apt metaphor for the entire experience. The die had been so thoroughly cast, there was nothing I could do."
Norville also uses the experience in her speeches, traveling the country in public speaking engagements for charities such as the March of Dimes and the Girls Scouts.
As a longtime Scout and a member of the Girl Scout council's board of directors in New York City, she has agreed to speak Tuesday as part of the Girl Scouts of Suncoast Council annual Women of Distinction Recognition Luncheon in Tampa. St. Petersburg Times executive vice president Marty Petty is among the event's four honorees.
For Norville, the themes of redemption and self-reliance are always key.
"Girl Scouts are all about encouraging girls to push their own boundaries," Norville said. "What's the worst that can happen? You fall flat on your face? Well, honey, I've done that, and I've done that in a real public way. People saw me come back, and there's a tremendous reservoir of goodwill that comes from that."
The woman who replaced her on Today is now likely the highest-paid journalist in television, with an annual income reportedly at $13-million. Given that anybody who tried to replace Pauley probably wouldn't have survived the criticism, doesn't Norville think Couric owes her something? A commission, maybe?
"You call her up and you tell her that . . . and don't hold your breath," Norville said, laughing. "The moral of the story is, don't be the replacement, be the replacement's replacement. I'm sure many people learned that lesson since then."
Deborah Norville Tonight airs weeknights at 9 on MSNBC. Norville appears Tuesday as the featured speaker at the annual Girl Scouts of Suncoast Council's 2004 Women of Distinction Recognition Luncheon in Tampa. It is open to the public. Tickets are $50 each. Call (813) 262-1759.
