Weather | Sports | Forums | Comics | Classifieds | Calendar | Movies

Gimme Five

TALK OF THE TOWN

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio.

AN OLD DEBATE: The Yankees have MVP winners, All-Stars and a future Hall of Famer or two in the dugout. They also have a lot of guys in their mid-30s and their top two starting pitchers are 35 and 39. Is this a lineup for the ages, or just an aging lineup? Alex Rodriguez will be the baby of the group, and he'll soon be 29. On the bright side, they should do great in matinee games.

THE NEXT CHAPTER: When last seen, Josh Beckett was pitching himself into lore. He shut out the Yankees on three days rest in the decisive Game 6 of the World Series. He was 23 and a World Series MVP. So what does he do for an encore? How about getting his record above .500. For his career, Beckett is 17-17. Tampa Bay's Victor Zambrano, for crying out loud, is 27-20. Beckett has as much talent as anyone, but he's also a chucklehead prone to injury.

CURSES!: For Cubs fans, next year has arrived. For the 95th time. The Cubs, once again, are trying to end an interminable World Series curse. With a brilliant young pitching staff, this may be their best shot in decades. Unless, of course, the Red Sox end their 86-year wait.

RUN FOR THE RECORD: In 1973, at 39 years old, Hank Aaron hit 40 home runs. The following season, he dropped to 20 and began sliding toward retirement. In 2003, at 39 years old, Barry Bonds hit 45 home runs. What he does this season will determine whether he has a chance to catch Aaron's record of 755. Should he hit 45 homers again, Bonds will be at 703 and will have a shot. If he hits 20, Aaron's record will be safe.

AIN'T THAT A KICK IN THE PANTS: Since moving into the NL East, the Braves have nine consecutive division titles. And have won one World Series. In those nine years, the Marlins never have finished higher than second in the NL East. And have won the World Series twice.

Five telltale signs of a steroid user:

5. Looks nothing like David Wells.

4. Instead of a smiley face, draws a syringe next to his autograph.

3. Aspires one day to be governor of California.

2. Needs a bigger uniform - and a smaller jock.

1. Can hit 70 homers.

(And will still finish last.)

5. With Danys Baez, the bullpen is much improved. (But the Rays won 23 one-run games last season and that's not an easy number to duplicate.)

4. The roster is stronger and more diverse than ever before. (But when you can count on seeing Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez, Derek Lowe, Kevin Brown, Mike Mussina or Roy Halladay around 25 times, you're starting in a hole.)

3. Jeremi Gonzalez and Paul Abbott add experience to the rotation. (And the odds of both staying healthy are not good.)

2. They spent about $10-million on free agents. (But the payroll is still the lowest in baseball and, with Greg Vaughn gone, may actually be lower than last season's.)

1. They can't be much worse.

5. BAD MONEY: The Angels flop. They handed out $127-million worth of contracts to Vladimir Guerrero, Bartolo Colon and Jose Guillen and they will underperform.

4. JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT: Ken Griffey will have his best season in Cincinnati - and the Reds will trade him before the end of summer.

3. MILESTONE MAN: Fred McGriff will get to 500 home runs. Unfortunately, he'll do it in Milwaukee.

2. ACES AT ODDS: Greg Maddux will have a better season in Chicago than Roger Clemens in Houston.

1. DEJA VU: Jim Tracy, a good man and a fine manager, will be fired. Why? There's a new owner, a new general manager and the same old bad offense. Tracy will be the scapegoat.

Can John Lynch still pitch?