IT!

How sibling rivalry grows - and grows

"Get out of my room." "Is that my sweater you're wearing?" "Get off the phone so I can go online." "I hate you!" "I hate you, too!" Those are just a few of the things my sister and I have yelled at each other all the time over the past few years. We do this because we love each other, because we live in the same house and because we can.

That's what brothers and sisters do to each other, but it is not a fun way to love. And yet, if someone else were to say or do something mean like that to one of my family members, I would do bodily harm to them. So why do we do it to each other?

Sometimes, we are so cruel to each other, we are in tears. Other days we get along and are the best of friends. Will this ever get better?

It all started when I was 2 years old. I thought everything was fine, but no. My parents had to bring this baby home and ruin my little kingdom. Was I not perfect enough for them? Did they need someone else in their world to entertain? Was I not keeping them busy enough? I was not asked to be a part of this decision. Well, the addition was done, and there was nothing I could do but deal with the little nuisance and the irritating crying (little did I know). I remember hoping the gifts and attention would be equally divided between the two of us, but I got the picture on this deal quickly. Some people thought of me, but most people just told me how lucky I was to have a new baby sister. The rest walked past me as if I didn't exist.

The baby cried a lot at first, but the worst part was when no one had time to read and play with me the way they did before the baby came. The attention was no longer focused on me. She got so much time devoted to her that at times I disappeared. Other times I caused a scene.

At first, I thought the kid was cute like a doll, and I even liked holding her and laughing at her. Then the baby got a little older and started getting into my stuff and wanted to play with my toys. Then I wanted very little to do with her. Then, to make matters worse, my parents had another baby! I had to share a room with my younger sister. This was too much!

My mom would come in the room and see a mess, and because I am the oldest, she would automatically tell me to pick up our room because my "darling" sister could not have possibly made all that mess. Well, let me tell you, my sister is a slob. Mom also thought we liked sharing that room. What she didn't know was that at night when everyone thought we were sleeping, we were throwing shoes at each other and arguing. Sometimes the fights got so intense, I was afraid someone was going to get hurt.

You know the old drawing-the-line-down-the-middle-of-the-floor trick? It never worked for us. We could never find the floor to draw the line because she was so messy. There were times I hated her, and I know she wished I would just die. We often said mean, hurtful things to each other and called each other things I would never say to anyone else. I didn't regret a word I said to her then.

- IT! Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com

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