There's no magic spell to turn this film into something watchable. It's cursed with flat acting, underwhelming special effects and a cliched screenplay.
By STEVE PERSALL
Published April 8, 2004
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Don't judge a book by its cover or the lousy movie based on it. Give author Gail Carson Levine the benefit of grave doubts that Ella Enchanted is better on the page than on dishwater-tinted film.
Director Tommy O'Haver gives fairy tales a bad name with this grimmer than Grimm miscalculation. Ella Enchanted doesn't have a single redeeming quality, with no sense of magic or even accomplishment. The acting is flat, befitting a screenplay that's on the level of a grade school skit, with special effects so underwhelming that Sid and Marty Krofft's cheesy Saturday morning cartoons look positively golden.
After a promising debut in The Princess Diaries, Anne Hathaway now seems barely capable of a decent straight-to-video performance. She's woefully inadequate at the physical comedy her role as Ella demands. Hathaway has zero spunk but nice posture.
At birth, Ella was given the "gift of obedience" by a fairy godmother named Lucinda (Vivica A. Fox), leaving her at the mercy of everyone's whims. When an evil stepsister tells Ella: "Hop to it!" or "Hold your tongue!" she actually hops or holds her tongue. Pixie dust and Bewitched-style sound effects are added to make us think something magical is occurring.
Ella wants the spell broken so she can date Prince Char (Hugh Dancy), who doesn't deserve a "-ming" added to his name. He's treated like the first coming of Clay Aiken by squealing girls, reads 'zines about damsels and is the target of a murder plot hatched by his Uncle Edgar (Cary Elwes, whose presence is a constant reminder of how much better The Princess Bride handled this kind of material). Edgar spells out everything in conversations with a ludicrously fake snake.
Ella must locate Lucinda by traveling through lands inhabited by giants and ogres, who, naturally, won't turn out as unfriendly as they first seem. But they do provide the only two gags that spurred laughter from a preview audience: a giant breaking wind and an ogre's butt cleavage. It doesn't get any better than that, folks.
Maybe moviegoers still exist who think using 1970s radio hits in a medieval setting is clever. Perhaps someone out there isn't tired of facelift jokes, urinating babies and banners used to make Tarzan-style swings to safety. Maybe some viewers still don't mind actors lazily gazing at empty spaces where something will be painted in later.
It all comes down to the moment when Ella declares the moral of the story: "Nobody should be forced to do something they don't want to do." At that moment, I almost took her advice but stopped short of walking out of the theater. Moviegoers should share Ella's gift of obedience and be ordered to stay far, far away.
Ella Enchanted
Grade: F
Director: Tommy O'Haver
Cast: Anne Hathaway, Hugh Dancy, Cary Elwes, Minnie Driver, Vivica A. Fox, Eric Idle, Joanna Lumley, Jimi Mistry
Screenplay: Laurie Craig, Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith, based on the novel by Gail Carson Levine
