Let's do a little casting to fill the Lightning lineup in a Hollywood hockey movie.
By STEVE PERSALL
Published June 5, 2004
Here's a movie pitch for Hollywood to consider: unheralded team representing a place not known for hockey beats long odds to claim the sport's most coveted prize. We'll call it something snappy, like Miracle, and . . .
Oh, that's right. It's been done. But if Hollywood is looking for a sequel (as if that's in doubt), the Tampa Bay Lightning is working on Miracle II. Tonight's Game 6 in Calgary against the Flames is one more plot twist along the way.
Before the puck drops, let's do some dream casting for the movie that could be, if the Lightning eventually wins the Cup. Imagine how these names and faces would look on the movie poster:
[Last modified June 4, 2004, 10:25:02]
Richard Gere as coach
John Tortorella The faceoff that started this little game. Gere has the hair (with a touch-up) and the stare but may be a bit too Zen for the role.
Gerard Depardieu as goalie Nikolai Khabibulin
Two noses that appear to have been plunked by flying hockey pucks. Only one was wearing a mask.
Daniel Radcliffe as center
Vinny Lecavalier
A youthful resemblance, and it gives Radcliffe something else to play besides Harry Potter.
Orlando Bloom as right wing Martin St. Louis
More Legolas from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, please, and less of that wimpy Paris dude in Troy.
Matt Damon as left wing
Fredrik Modin
Modin has that same dimpled smile and hair gel habits. And right wing Andre Roy does look a bit like Ben Affleck when he shaves.
Brad Pitt as center Brad Richards
Hairy and scary, a look and attitude Pitt wore well in Fight Club and Snatch.
•Dennis Quaid as winger
Dave Andreychuk
Maybe Harrison Ford or Kevin Costner a few years ago, but these days, Quaid (The Rookie, Any Given Sunday) is the go-to guy for grizzled veterans taking one last shot at glory.
Jack Black as defender
Brad Lukowich
The hair and disposition are similar, and Lukowich’s rock ‘n’ roll tastes in the locker room make School of Rock seem like Black’s audition.
Ashton Kutcher as defenseman Pavel Kubina
Kubina said it should be Johnny Depp in a St. Petersburg Times interview. No way, but Kutcher looks enough like a player fresh from the showers that we’ll give Kubina a break.
Paul Sorvino as former Lightning GM Phil Esposito
One beefy Italian father figure playing another. Not sure if Sorvino can skate. He can also play Tampa Bay Devil Rays managing general partner Vince Naimoli in crowd scenes.
Z from “Antz” as
ThunderBug the mascot
But do we really want a hockey mascot who sounds like Woody Allen?
Times sports columnist
Gary Shelton as Philadelphia Flyers coach Ken Hitchcock
Shelton gets the gig because Bob “Captain Kangaroo” Keeshan is dead.
Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund as Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter
Why do you think Sutter’s arms are always folded? He’s hiding those razored gloves.
Shrek, the Hanson brothers from “Slap Shot” and Donald “Ogre” Gibb from “Revenge of the Nerds” as the Calgary Flames You know, goons.
