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LETITIA STEINA group of local stay-at-home dads is trying a tack moms have long known about: They've formed a support group.
"It's a woman's world," said Bryan Thomas, 41, who brings 16-month-old Nicholas to a play group with about a dozen mothers. In his South Tampa parenting groups, he rarely sees another father at activities that range from baby swim lessons to the library's story time.
"It's pretty intimidating for a guy to walk into a room that's all women and you," he said. "It takes you a little while to bite your pride and don't worry about your ego and do what's right for your family."
After working as an engineer for almost two decades, Thomas was hooked on staying at home six weeks into his three-month leave from work. His wife's career was going well, he said, and they both preferred that he stay at home to raise their son.
Tracy White, 39, recalls the chaos when he and his wife both worked. He was an international banker. She is a commercial loan officer. At night, "you barely see (the children) for an hour or two hours, and you catch dinner at 10 p.m."
White's company closed the local office where he worked just before his second child was born. He weighed the quality of life factors, as well as the cost of day care. He decided to try parenting full time.
Now White has less time for racquetball but is an expert on Girl Scout cookies.
"My kids are a little older, so they are starting to get involved in gymnastics and ballet and Brownies," said White, who has a 7-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son. "I can take them around to all the things that they do. It's just rewarding to see them excel."
His sometimes racquetball partner, Alzamora, also is too busy at parenting to miss his job.
During the school year, Wednesdays are a marathon with two rounds of pickups, homework, piano practice, pet feedings (two lizards, a dog and hermit crabs), McDonald's snack time, judo lessons and bedtime stories. But he also is the first to hear about new friends, interests and get a full account of the day's events.
After their mother, Laura Thomae, 40, drops off the girls in the morning, she doesn't see them until dinnertime or later. Like any working mom, Thomae said she wishes some days that she had more time to spend with her girls. But a stay-at-home father has been ideal.
"For me personally, it's a blessing," said Thomae, who always planned to work and raise a family. "There isn't an issue of staying late, or how am I going to pick up my children, or who is taking care of them?"
"It gives me that freedom of not feeling like I have to constantly juggle work and family," she said.
To be sure, her grandmother did not understand the nontraditional arrangement. But her daughters like a routine where their dad watches them during the week, and mom organizes special "girls days" on the weekends.
"At first, I thought there were more stay-at-home dads than stay-at-home moms, because mine did," said 8-year-old Jessica Alzamora. "Most of the time, it's just normal."
- Letitia Stein can be reached at 661-2443 or lstein@sptimes.com
For more information on Tampa Dads, see http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TampaDads/