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Amy Scherzer's Diary: The Heart Beat

Law and ardor

Values outweighed ethnic differences, the students found. And so "My Big Fat Indian Latin Wedding" came to pass.

By AMY SCHERZER
Published July 2, 2004

NEW YORK CITY - Ajita Abraham leaned across the aisle during securities class at Fordham University School of Law. Can I borrow your outline? she whispered to Reynaldo Geerken.

It never entered her mind that they would become study partners, let alone life partners.

What did she have in common with this student from Tampa, son of a Cuban physician and Puerto Rican mother?

As it turns out, a lot. The law school classmates discovered cultural, political, religious, national and linguistic bonds between her Indian roots and his Latin heritage.

One night in December 1996, a mutual friend tried to introduce them in the library. They interrupted to say they'd already met. Geerken suggested they study together. Sure, she said.

Their review sessions went even better when they realized they lived a few blocks apart. Late-night walks home were highly anticipated rewards for hours spent learning law.

One study date led to dinner. Over sushi, talk delved deeper than securities fraud. They shared stories of growing up in immigrant families.

"That's when we realized our cultural values outnumbered ethnic differences," Abraham said.

Geerken and Abraham are first-generation American-born children. Tampa gastroenterologist Reynaldo G. Geerken Sr. fled Cuba in 1960. He met his wife, Hilda, in Puerto Rico and they moved to Davis Islands in 1977.

Oorial and Nirmala Abraham emigrated from Kerala, India, in the 1960s. Both earned master's degrees and worked for the state of Delaware.

"Our parents speak to us in their native tongues - Spanish and Malayalam - and we respond in English," Abraham said.

In their homes, learning is as essential as fresh air.

"Our parents are obsessed with education," Abraham said. "We were supposed to be doctors."

She graduated from Tufts University with a degree in international relations and Spanish. Geerken graduated from Jesuit High School in 1988 and pursued a biology degree at Amherst College.

After earning a law degree from Fordham, he clerked for U.S. Magistrate Judge Thomas McCoun in Tampa for a year. Now a commercial litigator in New York, he is pursuing a master's degree in biotechnology at Columbia University. He plans to specialize in intellectual property law.

Both are devoted to their churches. The Abrahams follow Marthoma Syrian Orthodox Christian beliefs dating back to 52 A.D. The Geerkens are Roman Catholics who worship at Christ the King.

Both Geerken, 33, and Abraham, 32, grew up with older sisters - two for him, one for her. In the small-world category of things, they worked in the same building on New York's Third Avenue the summer before starting law school.

"We never met but we probably shared an elevator sometime," Geerken said.

Differences? Fewer than expected.

"The first time I met her mother, I gave her a kiss," he said. "It was a culture clash moment."

Said Abraham, "We do more hugging and Latins do more kissing."

Their family ties bind so tightly that Geerken proposed in front of his whole family last June. They were all in Boston to see his sister Ingrid receive her doctorate in English at Harvard. During dinner at Mantra, a French-Indian restaurant, they screamed as he asked her to marry him.

Planning the May 15 wedding in San Juan, they needed an air traffic controller as much as a wedding planner. There were four bridal showers, a bachelorette trip to Paris and a bachelors' weekend in Las Vegas with the Tampa groomsmen Jason Fernandez, Dean Valenti and John Paul Gonzalvo. The Abrahams flew to Bombay and Singapore to buy wedding clothing, 25 brass lamps and 300 red silk pouches to hold favors.

It took three trips to Puerto Rico to weave Marthoma Syria Orthodox rituals into a Roman Catholic service at Parroquia San Agustin.

"We called it my Big Fat Indian Latin Wedding," said Abraham, now a vice president and assistant general counsel for JPMorgan Chase in New York, where the couple live.

Five clergymen officiated: a Syrian Orthodox bishop from New York and his assistant; two Catholic priests from San Juan; and the bride's uncle, the Rev. Kim Guiser, a Lutheran minister.

If the various ecumenical details weren't chaos enough, there were television producers to deal with. One of the bridesmaids - New York wedding planner Jung Lee - asked if the Style Network could follow her around for a few days and film the wedding.

"I didn't even tell Reynaldo about that until he got there, after his molecular genetics exam," Abraham said.

The altar buzzed with camera crews, including local paparazzi from El Nuevo Dia.

"It was crazy," Abraham said.

The Syrian bishop read the litany and chanted the blessing of the rings in Malayalam. He blessed the couple as "king" and "queen," waving a cross on a gold chain over their heads.

He led ancient Hindu and Hebrew customs involving the minnu and manthrakodi. Around the bride's neck, the groom tied the minnu, a cross suspended on seven threads pulled from the manthrakodi, the wedding sari. Geerken draped the manthrakodi over his bride's head, a symbol of welcoming her into his tent and family.

Then the Latin rituals: Corinthians 13 read in English and Spanish; Ave Maria sung in Latin; and the arras, a Spanish tradition of blessing 13 coins representing Christ and the 12 apostles. The groom pours the gold into the bride's cupped hands to acknowledge his role as provider.

The reception dinner, music and dancing at the Ritz Carlton showcased both cultures for the 280 guests, including 100 from Tampa, many wearing colorful saris.

Appetizers: samosas and Chicken Tikka, ceviche and mango mojitos.

On the dance floor: Latin salsa and Indian bhangra. A Puerto Rican band played merengues and Spanish rock. Friends and family sang and danced to Bollywood hits and Hindi songs.

An Indian custom drew universal encouragement. The couple lit a brass lamp and fed each other sliced bananas and sweet milk. Tradition says the more bananas the newlyweds eat, the more children they will have.

- To pass along tips to Amy Scherzer, reach her at 226-3332 or scherzer@sptimes.com

[Last modified July 1, 2004, 12:13:26]