Notes from the second fiddle

By JOHN BARRY
Published July 19, 2004

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Presidents get their own libraries. Vice presidents wind up in a little paperback book called Second String: Trivia, Facts and Lists About the Vice Presidency and Its Vice Presidents. It's written and self-published by Dan Coen, available for $24.95 on VicePresidents.com, and may cause John Edwards to reconsider his recent decision. One of its more amusing components is famous vice presidential quotations.

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"Once there were two brothers. One ran away to sea; the other was elected vice president of the United States. And nothing was heard of either of them again." Thomas Marshall, who served under Woodrow Wilson

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"Some newspapers dispose of their garbage by printing it." Spiro Agnew, who served under Richard Nixon

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"One useless man is a disgrace, two a law firm, three or more a Congress." John Adams, who served under George Washington

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The vice presidency is "not worth a warm bucket of spit." John Nance Garner, who served under Franklin Roosevelt

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"If you've seen one slum you've seen them all." Spiro Agnew

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"I would a great deal rather be anything, say professor of history, than vice president." Theodore Roosevelt, who served under William McKinley

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"This is a hell of a job. I can only do two things: One is to sit up here and listen to you birds talk. . . . The other is to look at newspapers every morning to see how the president's health is." Charles Dawes, who served under Calvin Coolidge

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"Look at all the vice presidents in history. Where are they? They were about as useful as a cow's fifth teat." Harry S. Truman, who served under Franklin Roosevelt

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"I do not propose to be buried until I am really dead." Daniel Webster, on not accepting the vice presidency