Aren't there times when you want to throw something at another person? I mean really gun one at somebody, really unload. You know?
If you're like me, the answer is:"Oh, heck yeah! Every waking moment of my life!"
If you're not like me, duck.
When it comes to throwing things at other people, Spring Hill resident Joe Ferrara is a visionary. He knows about people like me, people who want to hurl.
Ferrara, 57, is the pioneer behind the Worldwide Dodge X Ball league. He has started small, but Ferrara dreams big. He envisions a league of dodge ball teams, legions of players slinging rubber balls at each other.
And someday, for dodge ball, he dreams: the Olympics.
No lie.
Someday, Spring Hill could be the dodge ball equivalent of Cooperstown, home to the dodge ball Hall of Fame. Someday, scoring a couple of tickets to the dodge ball championships could be like getting tickets to the Super Bowl. Someday, the world's highest paid athletes could be duking it out for the coveted "Ferrara Cup."
Someday, Pasco County Commissioners could give up their ongoing ridiculous quest to build a taxpayer-funded stadium for dozens of fans to watch the grass grow. Oops, I mean, watch women's "professional" tennis.
Because I think a professional dodge ball stadium would draw a lot better.
I'd pay to watch people throw rubber balls at each other. I'd pay more to watch them throw bricks at each other. But rubber balls would do.
I think that would be cool.
But for now, Ferrara and his wife, Barbara, start small: an advertisement in the St. Petersburg Times Sunday sports section, some face time on a Christian television channel. Word of mouth.
Whatever it takes to bring dodge ball to the masses.
Barbara Ferrara said her husband has had dodge ball on the brain for several years.
"I personally hated it when I was a kid," she said. "Last person picked, first person hit."
But Ferrara's enthusiasm rubbed off on his wife. She's his biggest supporter.
"This is a sport for the little guy," Ferrara said. "Anyone can play. If you can duck, if you can throw a little bit, if you can catch, you can play. You get exercise, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, anyone can get out there."
Ferrara's version of the game calls for just two balls in play, to emphasize strategy, with a shot clock, like in basketball, to keep the game moving.
Ferrara, a product of the Brooklyn, N.Y., streets, grew up with the game. He played dodge ball and stick ball and punch ball and hand ball and any other competition he and his pals could invent with a rubber ball and a vacant lot.
"You got out of school, and you went out and played," he said. "Kids don't do that anymore, and adults, they miss that."
A lot of schools don't allow dodge ball in gym class anymore. Generations are growing up without welts.
"Too many injuries, too many hurt feelings, and too many anxieties," explained Tom Rulison, principal at Dade City's Centennial Middle School.
Ferrara figures the game is fun or it wouldn't have been as popular as it was, back in the day.
He could be on to something. The Hartford Conn. Courant reported dodge ball mania is ing the nation. Adult leagues formed in Los Angeles last year. Go on the Internet to find the International Dodge Ball Federation (www.dodge-ball.com) go to the theater to see Ben Stiller in DodgeBall: a True Underdog Story, or click on the tube to the GSN's Extreme Dodgeball.
Working at his Palm Harbor restaurant, Ferrara's Bistro, and driving every day on U.S. 19, Ferrara said he needs an outlet. Dodge ball, he said, could be the perfect anger management tool.
Like I said, he has started small. No actual league yet, just an ad in the paper and a growing list of potential players. If things go well, he's hoping to start play in 60 days, offering $10,000 in prizes and a portion of the proceeds going to childrens charities. Maybe he'll pull it off. I'd like to hope so.
Wanna play? You can call Ferrara toll-free at 1-800-786-1782 ext. 77 or call him at home, (352) 263-2147.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could settle all our differences on the dodge ball court?" he asked. "It would do the world a lot of good."
