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YOU CAN FIND IT IN THE SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION SECTION: We doubt she wrote any of it. And photographic evidence aside, we doubt she has read it. But we're sure she'll rake in money and publicity from it, and we're sure that's all that matters to Paris Hilton, whose book Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose is in stores.

To prove she contributed something to the project, Hilton showed up at a book signing Tuesday in Los Angeles. Waiting for her were more than 100 fans, described by the Los Angeles Daily News as being mostly overweight old men, tattooed punks, blond surfers and pink-clad pubescent girls.

Hilton graciously signed every copy put in front of her, the newspaper said, and she gave some girls the Hilton seal of approval for their outfits. (That means she said things such as "That purse is hot.")

She even smiled for a man the Daily News described as a "creepy fat guy in a Simple Life T-shirt" who told her he'd once been "thrown out of a Hilton hotel for clogging up the toilet."

At least Jennifer Lopez can remind herself that she has had worse weeks.

When Frances hit Miami Beach, Lopez lost a 28-foot yacht (not the one on which she arrived at last week's MTV Video Music Awards), MTV.com reports. This was followed by an Us Weekly story in which her former makeup artist, Scott Barnes, refuted claims that he was fired for leaking personal information about Lopez to the media. He said he left her because he wasn't paid for designing her makeup for her wedding to Marc Anthony. "All I really wanted was an apology, and it's sad that after four years I can't even get that," he said.

Gwyneth Paltrow says it was husband Chris Martin's idea, not hers, to give the much-mocked name of Apple to their baby daughter. "We were just kind of pregnant; we didn't know (the sex of the baby), and he said, "I think if she's a girl, we should call her Apple,' " she told USA Today.

However, Paltrow said she loves the name - "it just conjures such nice sweetness and wholesomeness" - and she doesn't understand why the rest of the world can't stand it.

- Sharon Fink can be reached at 727 893-8525 or fink@sptimes.com

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