Clear mind, fading world

For Fred Allan, nudism isn't about seeing others in the buff. He prefers his lifestyle even as his vision fails, and praises his wife and others who help him.

LAND O'LAKES - Fred Allan's right eye has a milky film over it, like a marble. Through it he sees nothing but black.

His left eye sees only forms and shapes, as long as they're directly in front of him. He can't make out details. He has no peripheral vision.

"I fall down a lot," Allan says.

Allan has been many things in his 70 years. A Marine. An embalmer. A businessman. A nudist. A devoted father and husband.

He never intended to become a frequent medical patient. These days, Allan spends entirely too much time in doctors' offices and at the James A. Haley VA Medical Center in Tampa. He has spent too many hours frustrated by the study of ophthalmology and as a witness to his own failing eyesight.

Not long ago, Fred and Dru Allan caught the attention of a St. Petersburg Times photographer intrigued by the idea of a man going blind in a nudist resort. He agreed to allow the photographer to accompany him on visits to his doctor and to social events at Caliente .

It soon became clear that Allan thinks it neither strange nor comic that he is an all-but blind man in a community of nudists.

"Nah," Allan scoffs. "It makes no difference."

What emerged after hours of photo sessions was a common theme in an uncommon place. Fred Allan is struggling to maintain control and independence, even as he loses his sight. He's a crusty character. He has harsh words for those he believes failed him medically. He is effusive in praising those who have helped. And he has a special regard for his wife, as he depends on her more and more.

Allan is completely blind in his right eye. His left eye sees little. But since he has been taking large doses of antibiotics, he thinks his left eye has gotten a little better. He'll know more soon enough, when he returns for yet another visit to the doctor.

"I honestly believe that if this had been treated correctly in the first place, I wouldn't be blind today," Allan says. Allan firmly believes his malady was misdiagnosed early on. Many of the tests, he believes, have been unnecessary. Some of the surgeries as well.

Cataracts were suspected at one time. He has been diagnosed with optic neuropathy. He has had lasik surgery.

Allan sums it all up: "Anyway, it didn't work."

Allan has choice words for some of his former doctors, the ones he thinks misread his eye problems. He raises his voice, talking about his medical care, and his wife, Dru, cuts in, "Fred! Come on."

For the past couple of years, Fred and Dru have lived in the Caliente Resort in Land O'Lakes, Pasco County's newest nudist resort. It's a community where people tend to know their neighbors, and those neighbors tend to walk around without clothes. The Allans have been nudists for about a decade.

As his eyesight has failed, Allan has become a living testament to the contention among nudists that it is not so much about seeing others in the buff, as it is about the free feeling that comes when you shed your clothes.

"It makes Dru and me feel good," Fred says. "That's all."

Fred Allan is a tough guy, but there are a few subjects that cause him to soften noticeably. When he talks about the staff at the Lighthouse for the Visually Impaired and Blind in Brooksville, he takes care to name them all: Diane, Marian, Suzanne, Kim and Carol.

"They're the greatest; put in something nice about them," Allan instructs.

They worked with him to maintain his independence - taught him how to cook, how to make his way through his own home - at a time when he was losing independence.

Allan changes entirely when he talks about Dru.

They raised five daughters together, so naturally they have relied on each other. Now, Fred relies on Dru even more.

She does the driving, the shopping and most of the cooking. She stays busy as a real estate broker in a hot market. He clutches her arm when they walk together. She fawns over him when they go out.

"First of all, I don't know what I'd do without her," he says.

He lavishes her with praise, looking directly at her when he does. That's the best way to see her, and the best way to get the message across.

"If there's anybody who can walk on water," Allan says, "it's her. She looks like she's 50, doesn't she?"

"See," Dru says with a laugh, "his eyesight really is bad."

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