BOSTON - Not to be an alarmist, but the Cardinals look cooked.
I mean, in that how-do-you-pitch-to-these-guys sort of way. The World Series is a game old, and the St. Louis pitching staff already is in tatters.
The guy who started Game 1 wasn't on television long enough to make the credits. The guy who is starting Game 2 tonight is pitching on short rest with a tender shoulder. Five relievers gave up five walks and four runs.
And the Red Sox barely seemed to get revved up. Seriously. When Mark Bellhorn is hitting your winning homer, you know there's more to come.
Oh, I suppose the Cardinals could try to slug it out with the Red Sox. St. Louis did a fair job of making up ground in the middle innings Saturday. The Cardinals twice came from behind to force Boston's hand.
And you certainly could argue Sox pitchers were only a wart or two away from being as unattractive as the Cards.
But at least Boston has the promise of something better. At least it has Curt Schilling waiting. And Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe in the shadows.
This was the best pitching matchup for the Cardinals. This was a chance to get a one-game advantage on the road against Boston's weakest starter.
Red Sox manager Terry Francona gave St. Louis a gift by needlessly wasting Martinez in relief against the Yankees in Game 7. Had the Cardinals beaten knuckleball pitcher Tim Wakefield on Saturday night, Francona would have been doing some serious tap dancing to explain this pitching gaffe.
Instead, St. Louis is scrambling and the Sox are in pursuit.
Let's hope the Cardinals sent Matt Morris to the hotel early Saturday night. Told him to rent a movie and gave him the number of a pizza joint.
The guy just didn't need to see this. Not when he's supposed to be the starting pitcher for St. Louis tonight.
Did he really need to see David Ortiz hit another long home run or tie a Boston record with four RBIs in a World Series game? Or watch as Boston's first four hitters combined for eight RBIs?
I mean, it's not like Morris had reason to feel spiffy before reaching Boston. He's coming off his worst year, he had a 6.02 ERA in road games in the regular season, he's got a tender shoulder and not enough rest.
By the way, when was the last time you pitched on three days rest?
"I think the last time," Morris said, "was a Wiffle Ball game when I was 10."
You get the picture. Williams was supposed to be the hottest pitcher in the St. Louis rotation, and he couldn't get out of the third. Now the Cardinals are countering with a gimp in a slump against the best hitters in baseball.
If nothing else, Devil Rays pitchers should feel vindicated. The Red Sox were personally responsible for keeping the Rays in the bottom half of the league's ERA rankings.
"I give them credit," St. Louis manager Tony La Russa said. "We opened the door, and they capitalized just about every time."
On a night like this, you have to think starting these games late is a darned fine idea. Perhaps children shouldn't be watching, after all.
Your Little Leaguers don't need to see this.
Heck, your teenagers shouldn't be subjected to this.
Pitchers who can't throw strikes? Leftfielders who can't catch a ball? Infielders who can't throw across the diamond?
We haven't seen a game this ugly since Bryan Rekar and Danny Clyburn were playing regularly at Tropicana Field.
The first game of the World Series is supposed to be crisp. It's supposed to be a pitcher's showcase. For crying out loud, it's supposed to be 2-1.
The first game is Sandy Koufax versus Whitey Ford. It's Bob Feller versus Johnny Sain. It ain't your stiff versus my stinker.
Never has a World Series started like this. This is the 100th time they've played a Game 1, and it's the first time both teams scored at least nine runs. Sheesh, it's the first time both teams scored at least seven runs. It was, you might have guessed, the highest-scoring Game 1 in history.
Now, you might argue that it will get better. That there are tougher pitchers on the horizon. And, I'll grant you, most of us would rather see a Schilling-Morris matchup instead of Wakefield-Williams.
But don't you get the feeling we're in for a few more of these tee ball games? Would you feel at all comfortable betting the under?
These are not timid lineups. They were built to crush. To hammer. To intimidate and annihilate. Boston led the American League in runs scored. St. Louis led the National.
Sure, the pitching staffs are adequate. In the same way that the Supremes were completely capable of singing behind Diana Ross.
The bottom line is this Series will be won by the team that can find enough pitching to keep the scoreboard from exploding.
"Unless you pitch really good," La Russa said, "you're going to get damaged."
