In his first NFL tour of duty, he was in over his head. Word was, he didn't need a referee. He needed a lifeguard.
He was shortsighted. He was stubborn. He didn't understand the subtleties required of a man in his position.
He could neither relate, create nor motivate, rather important deficiencies for a head coach. He was a waste of time and talent and money. When he finally departed, everyone breathed a sigh of relief, including him.
These days, that is the popular way for the NFL to look at Steve Spurrier.
Once, it was also the way the NFL looked at Bill Belichick.
If you are Wayne Huizenga, and if you own the Dolphins, it is something worth keeping in mind.
The Dolphins, that strange, dysfunctional franchise to the south, admitted to a mistake Tuesday. Dave Wannstedt quit, and after considerable teeth-gnashing, sigh, the Dolphins allowed it. When a team can botch the replacing of a doomed coach, it has reached new lows. Frankly, the Dolphins should have been giddy to accept Wannstedt's resignation. They should have had the letter framed and mounted and put up for bid on eBay.
Yet, here is Wannstedt, ousted but not out. He will keep his office, right there on death row. He will be available for meetings with coaches. He just won't be the head coach. Oh.
At any rate, the position is open, and gee, there is Spurrier. And, as you might realize, lately I have been concerned about Spurrier's unemployment. Hey, he has a kid ready to go to college.
Spurrier to the Dolphins?
It's one of those situations that won't happen. It's one of those situations that should.
As far as prearranged marriages go, no, this isn't the slam dunk of a notion Spurrier returning to the University of Florida seemed to be. With the Gators, Spurrier represented unequalled success. His days in Gainesville were the best of times, and those who imagined him back believed he could add to the memories.
Spurrier in the NFL? That's a tougher sell, and perhaps it's the reason the Dolphins and Spurrier so quickly dismissed the notion. Not even the Gators gave Spurrier a thumbs down so fast.
Everyone remembers the misery of Spurrier's tenure in Washington, two years of confusion and confoundment. Spurrier looked out of his element, out of his league and, near the end, nearly out of his mind. His teams lacked discipline. His schemes lacked imagination. His players lacked respect.
Still, if I owned the Dolphins, I would consider the idea intriguing enough to investigate.
People change. Coaches learn. Circumstances differ.
Once, before he was a genius in New England, Belichick was a social reject in Cleveland. He seemed to lack charisma and imagination. He was there for five years, and his team had a losing record in four.
These days, Belichick is the best coach in the NFL.
Once, before he was the mastermind in Denver, Mike Shanahan was run out by the Raiders after a season and a quarter. Once, before he coached his way into the Hall of Fame with Buffalo, Marv Levy was just another coach who failed with the Chiefs. Once, before he was the calm force of the Yankees, three teams fired Joe Torre.
It happens. With Spurrier, if he is smarter than he is stubborn, if he is as adaptable as he is arrogant, it could happen again.
Perhaps it will not happen with the Dolphins, who took special care to go out of their way on Tuesday to say they had no intention of calling Spurrier, who evidently has no interest in answering. It's a shame. Both sides have done worse. Spurrier's legacy needs rescue, and the Dolphins have had a plodding offense for years.
If I ran the Dolphins, this is what I would do. I would clean up the mess that is the front office. I would hire the best general manager I could hire, and I would tell him to find me a new coach, a new quarterback and a new running back. I would tell him that Ricky Williams should not be considered for any of the openings.
Then, I'd pull up a chair, and I'd ask this: What do you think of Spurrier?
Look, Spurrier can't blame anyone else for his flop in Washington. He lacked the proper respect for the NFL. He acted as if he could blow into town with his old Gators and his old playbook, and everyone else could just get out of his way.
On the other hand, Danny Snyder was the team owner. Evidently, there are a lot of people who can't win with Snyder. Put it this way: If you had to coach around Snyder playing general manager, blowing his whistle and trimming your roster, don't you think you would deserve a second chance?
Yes, Spurrier could have succeeded. He's a bright guy. He knows offense.
Here are the answers I would want from Spurrier: What did you learn from your experience in Washington? What would you do differently?
For Spurrier to have a chance, he would need a solid front office. He needs to have a general manager who is strong in the areas where he is not. He isn't a personnel guru. He needs people who can run the roster and the cap with his offense in mind.
For Spurrier to have a chance, he needs to surround himself with gnarled, old assistant coaches, the wacky defensive coordinator and the grizzled offensive line coach. He needs to listen to the advice of these guys about how to protect a quarterback.
For Spurrier to have a chance, he would have to have an owner who didn't meddle. Good news. No matter what you think of Huizenga, he is a trade up from Snyder.
Once, Eddie Murphy thought he was a singer. Once, Tom Hanks thought Bachelor Party was a good idea. Hey, people make mistakes.
