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Commentary

Rant: NFL needs to abstain from sex

By AARON GREENFIELD
Published November 21, 2004

Polygamy. Women's rights. Slavery. Many believe the Bible provides us with a guide to life on these and other issues. One example: Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Not so fast, Paul Tagliabue.

We'll start with those Monday night games. Fans have grown tired of them. Literally. They shouldn't have to stay up past midnight to see the conclusion.

But at least the Eagles and Cowboys behaved. Not like the Cardinals and Dolphins, who pushed and shoved before their game Nov. 7, and Pittsburgh's Joey Porter and Cleveland's William Green, who spit on each other Sunday while doing their best to provide a fix for fans who go to hockey games only for the fights.

Both incidents deserve suspensions, not the $10,000 fines for Porter and Green that can be deducted from a paycheck yet leave enough for that fourth SUV.

And how about those beautiful stadiums extorted (through franchise relocation or the threat of it) out of taxpayers in Tampa, Baltimore, St. Louis, Cleveland, Houston, Nashville and elsewhere?

It worked so well for the Colts in 1984, they are doing it again, this time hinting at a move to Los Angeles if taxpayers don't build them a stadium. Health care for the uninsured? Not when millionaires need to become billionaires. Moral values, indeed.

Alas, fans will get a break when ticket prices decrease next season. What? They won't? But what about the $8-billion CBS and Fox will pay to televise games?

Oh. Guess Pat Boone's wardrobe for his Super Bowl halftime show does cost more than the skimpy outfit Brittany Spears wore while gyrating on stage during the Super Bowl in Tampa, when a malfunction didn't embarrass the NFL.

Which leads us back to where this started: sex, an issue the NFL has no business delving into. It has plenty of other problems to take care of first.

Rave: Coleman showing vast potential

The NHL lockout has reached Day 67, and the withdrawal symptoms have kicked in.

Thankfully, Gerald Coleman provides a fix. Who, you might ask? Only a potential heir apparent to Nikolai Khabibulin.

The Lightning's seventh-round pick in 2003 has been outstanding for his junior team, the London Knights of the Ontario Hockey League.

In 11 games, the 19-year-old born in Romeoville (about 30 miles west of Chicago) is 11-0-1 with a 1.65 goals-against average. His teammate, Ryan MacDonald (eligible to be drafted in June) is 10-0-0 with a 2.19 goals-against average.

That's right. The Knights have opened the season 21-0-1.

Coleman's stats are not a fluke. Last season, his second with London, he went 24-8-0 with a goals-against average of 2.20, second only to ... yes, MacDonald, and led the league in save percentage at .931 and shutouts with five.

Don't expect Coleman in a Lightning uniform any time soon. For an idea of how long it takes most players to develop, look at goaltender Brian Eklund.

The Lightning drafted him in the seventh round in 2000. And even after four seasons at Brown University, the 24-year-old recently started his first season in the American Hockey League, the equivalent of Triple-A baseball.

So Khabibulin's job is safe for now. But remember Coleman's name. Fans might hear it again in, say, 2007.

The lockout will be over by then ... right?

[Last modified November 21, 2004, 00:16:21]


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