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1. "I don't think I've ever pulled my pants down onstage before."
a) Michael Stipe, R.E.M.'s singer, who did that at a New York concert while depressed about the presidential election results.
b) Bono, asked if there is one thing he hasn't done that he'd like to.
c) Ashlee Simpson, naming something she'd regret more than being caught lip-synching.
2. "If you want to wear white crocodile shoes with black stockings at Christmas, it's all good."a) Sarah Jessica Parker, whose Gap ads are just the start of her new fashion attitude.
b) Jessica Simpson, promising outrageousness in her Wednesday Christmas special on ABC.
c) Andre Leon Talley, leading style arbiter.
3. "I wanted to be Bob Dylan."a) Bob Dylan
b) Jon Bon Jovi
c) Jay-Z
4. "It never happened for me, but I daydreamed many days that it might."a) Jesse Metcalfe, Desperate Housewives' sweaty gardener, saying he never slept with a female employer during his real-life time as a sweaty gardener.
b) Danny Moder, a.k.a. Mr. Julia Roberts, claiming that he had no say in naming their twins, so blame her for Hazel and Phinnaeus. c) Andy Garcia, thwarted in his efforts to be billed above Catherine Zeta-Jones in the upcoming Ocean's Twelve.
5. "I've become an incredibly dangerous Scrabble player since I started this. Because if you can get "encephalopathic' down on a Scrabble board and hit a triple word score, it's game over."a) Noah Wyle, on the best thing about his time on ER.
b) Hugh Laurie, on the best thing about playing a doctor in Fox's House.
c) Melina Kanakaredes, on why she really took a job on CSI: NY.
6. "It was easier for me this time because he was much fleshier, and the contours were much softer. It was more like wrestling with my grandmother."a) Julia Roberts, getting snippy about reuniting with George Clooney in Ocean's Twelve because everyone paid more attention to Zeta-Jones.
b) Colin Firth, on the state of Hugh Grant in their Bridget Jones sequel fight scene.
b) Renee Zellweger, on her Bridget Jones bed scenes with Firth.
7. "I huckabee, bookabee, badabee, I don't know what any of these movies are about."a) Lauren Bacall, on the quality of movies today.
b) Martin Scorsese, explaining why he stuck to a simple topic, Howard Hughes, for The Aviator.
c) Jude Law, I (Heart) Huckabees co-star, posturing now that he has a "serious" movie, Closer, coming out.
8. "He don't have no problem with you blinging. His gates are pearly, his house is about 10 stadiums big, the streets are gold - you do the budget on that kind of place."a) Clay Aiken, letting his guard down while talking about spirituality.
b) Bernie Mac, Ocean's Twelve co-star, on why he likes working with Clooney.
c) Ma$e, contending that God doesn't mind bling.
9. "You actually think you've altered the course of history.a) Oprah Winfrey, saying she'll continue giving away taxes-not-included gifts because it makes her feel good.
b) Michael Moore, confirming that the election results haven't weakened his resolve to agitate.
c) Leonardo DiCaprio, claiming that he has recovered from a case of bloated ego.
ANSWERS: 1,a; 2,c; 3,b; 4,a; 5,b; 6,b; 7,a; 8,c; 9c.Sharon Fink can be reached at 727 893-8525 or fink@sptimes.com