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Letter to the editor

These days, being called 'Granny' is not so grand

In a culture where youth rules, many grandparents say they prefer young-sounding names to the more traditional elder titles.

By MELANIE AVE
Published December 25, 2004

TAMPA - He's a biker dude, with a ponytail and a wild streak. So when he became a grandfather three years ago, he insisted on being different.

No way he would be called Grandpa when little Gage Ferqueron toddled to his lap and uttered his first few babbles.

"He's Papason," said Jessica Ferqueron, a St. Petersburg stay-at-home mother. "He's kind of crazy. He's almost 60 but he doesn't act like it."

In this youth-obsessed society, Ferqueron's father is not that unusual. Fewer grandparents these days are willing to be called Grandma or Grandpa. And Granny? That's almost as passe as walking sticks.

Ferqueron said she already knows what she wants to be called when she enters the grandparents club.

"I'll be Nana," she said. "It doesn't sound so old."

The relative youthfulness of many of today's grandparents seems to be the biggest reason so many are opting for new titles. According to the AARP, the average age of first-time grandparents has declined to 47.

The new bimonthly magazine Grand debuted this fall. It is geared toward baby boomers with grandchildren who are anything but aging and arthritic.

Comedian Billy Crystal was on the first cover. The current issue features news analyst Cokie Roberts. The third issue, out this spring, will highlight actor Harrison Ford.

All three celebrities are grandparents.

"We're trying to show that today's grandparents are youthful, often leading very involved, active lives," said Robert Strozier, editor and chief of Grand. "We're trying to dispel the image of granny, gramps and rocking chairs."

Susan Torres, a nurse with Hillsborough County's Department of Aging Services, has a few theories about the declining use of Grandma and Grandpa.

She blames society's fascination with youth, particularly among baby boomers. They think young, act young and want young-sounding names even as they confront old age.

"They don't see themselves in that same context as they remember their grandparents," said Torres, 54.

When Torres learned she was going to be a grandma - at age 43 - her co-workers proclaimed: "You're not a grandmother. We have to come up with a different name for you."

They offered up Grammy Sue, which later became Mimi because it was easier for her granddaughter to say.

"Sometimes it doesn't matter what you want to be called," Torres said. "It's what the children can pronounce."

Belinda Castro's grandson, now 15, came up with her name when he was a toddler. He loved watching an Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice television commercial that featured a little jingle: "Bowbow bow, bowbow bow."

"Every time I came over, I would sing along with the commercial," said Castro, 55, of Tampa. "He loved it."

She now goes by Bowbow.

Sometimes grandparent names are chosen to ease confusion over family lines. Divorce and remarriage leave many children with more than four grandparents. How can everyone be Grandma and Grandpa?

And what about the growing number of great-grandparents and even great-great grandparents, who already have laid claim to Grandma and Grandpa?

That was the problem for Janet Horton-Vines. As her daughter was in labor, the 48-year-old Tampa woman was forced to come up with a special name because her own mother already was Grandma. As was her son-in-law's mother.

A third Grandma made no sense.

"I had to stand out and be different," Horton-Vines said. "It hit me like a ton of bricks: Gigi."

Gary Helms, 70, of Tampa didn't want to be called Grandpa, Grandfather or Granddad. His daughter always called him by his first name. So do his two grown grandchildren.

"They call me Gary," Helms said. "I just prefer it."

Jenna Fameree, 13, sometimes calls one of her grandmothers T.G., an acronym for Traveling Grandma.

"She's been to Europe, Hawaii, California," said Fameree, who lives in Seffner.

"We're just glad to have grandmas," said her mother, Julie Fameree. "They teach our children so much."

The names Grammy and Papa are a badge of honor to Tampa school teachers Bert and Donna Formwalt. The terms of endearment, they said, bring them closer to their grandchildren.

For some grandparents, family roots and heritage determine what their grandchildren call them.

Formwalt's grandfatherly name, Papa, is a truncation of the German name for grandfather, grossvater or grosspapa.

"Sometimes I think grandparents just want to be friends with their grandchildren," said Mrs. Formwalt. "But we have a responsibility as parents and grandparents to lead and guide the next generation."

Despite all the Nanas, Poppies and Meemaws around the nation, there are those who are sticking to tradition.

Julia Simpkins, who lives in Fort Jackson, S.C., has an 8-year-old son Michael. He calls his grandparents Grandma and Grandpa, just like the names she gave her own grandparents.

"We're boring," admitted Simpkins, 43, on a recent visit to the Museum of Science and Industry in Tampa. "I just never thought of doing anything different."

Times researcher Cathy Wos contributed to this report. Melanie Ave can be reached at 813 226-3400 or melanie@sptimes.com

Nana, Oma, Grammy, Niny, Mimi, Mommom, Pepa, Papu, PopPop, Poppie, PeePaw

[Last modified December 24, 2004, 23:25:15]