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Online and lovelorn? Call in a coach

If your Internet dating's going nowhere, help is available to perk up your profile and energize your e-mail.

ST. PETERSBURG - So much for the Internet dating craze. It has peaked.

Disenchanted singles are starting to slink away from the 842 Internet dating services that have sprung up during the last decade.

Many complain that it doesn't work for them. They're going on too many dates with the wrong people.

But wait. Don't give up too easily. If there's Internet dating, there've got to be ... Internet dating coaches.

They've emerged in recent years to help struggling singles navigate the labyrinth of dating sites.

Many have marketing backgrounds and are turning to strategies they used to sell products to help people sell themselves. Put out the wrong message, little wonder you attract the wrong type of person.

From her home in St. Petersburg, Melanie Dodson, "The Internet Dating Coach," advises singles around the country on how to succeed at Internet dating, whether it's making small changes to their profiles so they show up at the top of the heap when others do searches, or changing out photos to make their profiles seem fresh.

She should know. She's shopping on the Internet for a life mate herself.

Rob DiGiovanni is frustrated. Dodson is helping him and and his 60-year-old Italian mother, Assunta, get into Internet dating. Dodson is showing his mother how to put her Match.com profile together, but his has been up for a month.

It's quirky and shows his far out side. That he likes to ride his motorcycles at high speeds (Dodson had him delete the speed, 180 mph) and pop wheelies (again the speed, 70 mph, eliminated). That he owns a business making muscle cars accelerate faster, and is intelligent and introspective, yet crazy and creative.

That he enjoys shocking and surprising behavior, practical jokes, yoga and martial arts.

But the 37-year-old, whose screen name is chasingspeed, has e-mailed two dozen women and not gotten a single response. Unless you count a 33-year-old who said they were soul mates and e-mailed him 12 times in one day. She wanted him to don a red thong and boxing gloves for a boxing competition. He passed.

For a man whose life is about making things happen faster faster faster, this Internet dating thing is all happening too slowly. Maybe he's too enthusiastic? Maybe he's not saying enough?

As Dodson and DiGiovanni looked over his Match.com profile on Dodson's computer, his problem was obvious. His messages make him sound illiterate. DiGiovanni isn't stupid, but his typing skills are, er, less than perfect.

Here's what he posted to cuteyogagurl:

"Wow i don't where to begin your' awesome and the very reason im' on this site to see that there really our great women like your'e self and single. unbalivveable so is it seeing is beliveing or beliveing is seeing? ps pardon any typos please reply"

DiGiovanni said he gets into the moment and writes what he would say if he were talking, but then his fingers just can't find the right keys and it all just takes too long. He gets bored.

He suggested looking for women who also have typos in their ads.

"That's not right," Dodson said. "This is what I'd really like you to do. Until you get more adept at typing, I want you to write it out first. ... This is what I see as your only real obstacle. You will get a much better return on your investment and time spent."

Dodson spied a wink for DiGiovanni from a 29-year-old St. Petersburg woman who described herself as a "petite asian with a sailor's tongue and a head full of mischeif." DiGiovanni perked up. She's into yoga, power tools and social rebellion. A nonconformist, just like himself.

Dodson instructed him to type the response and send it to her before replying to the woman. Dodson would edit it.

Dodson turned to his mother, a petite woman with an Italian accent. She told Mrs. DiGiovanni that she must really think about what she wants and who she is so she can deliver herself. She's trying to find Mrs. DiGiovanni's marketing hook.

Just saying you are nice company or that you can solve problems isn't enough. You need more, she told Mrs. DiGiovanni. "What is your philosophy of life?"

This stumped Mrs. DiGiovanni. They turned to her son for help, and he suggested that mom doesn't stick with things that don't work.

"I hang on for a little while," she agrees, "but when I know it's going to end, goodbye, finish, and never talk no more."

"So you have the ability to let go," Dodson said, taking notes.

"When Roberto's dad left, I never ask him back," Mrs. DiGiovanni said."I never call him."

"Sounds like you have an innate wisdom and maturity," Dodson said.

Internet dating as an industry has begun to plateau. Growth is expected to slow from 77 percent this year to 19 percent next year; some industry leaders have laid off employees and canned CEOs.

"The market has matured and there's going to be negligible subscriber growth," said Nate Elliott, an analyst with Jupiter Research in New York. "It looks like it's hit critical mass."

Internet dating coaches observe the industry's wobbling and say it's a prime time for them to step in and help.

Dodson used to be an international specialist in business market sales for AT&T in Manhattan. Laid off after 9/11, she went to entrepreneur school to study the art of coaching.

She had been on Match.com and noticed how poorly people portrayed themselves. Everyone enjoyed quiet walks on the beach or were able to move from jeans to dresses and suits with no trouble. Others were careless, their pictures blurry, their profiles filled with mistakes that turned her off.

Within six months, Dodson met a man through Match.com. They spoke for eight hours on their first phone call. He was good looking, a lawyer. They dated a year and a half.

Soon, she was helping her friends get on Match.com, and she realized the coaching she was good at. She held seminars for hundreds of singles and also gave one-on-one sessions.

She moved to St. Petersburg to take a temporary fundraising job, but it fell through. She liked the city so much, she decided to stay.

For $250, she helps beginners create profiles and pictures on a dating site, develop a dating strategy and go over communication rules. Online profile makeovers cost $50.

She also consults with start-up Internet dating sites.

One busy New York City executive hired her to find women who might interest him and contact them on his behalf.

"Trust me when I tell you he is very intelligent and worldly, and has a specific kind of woman on his mind," she wrote to one woman on JDATE, a Jewish dating service. "I would love to get your feedback and learn if you are interested in pursuing this and learning more about him. He would be thrilled."

Within a week, Gallardo's profile had caught the eye of 600 potential suitors. She said the men she's meeting are more her style.

"I think I was coming across like I wanted to have fun and casually date," Gallardo said, "and I think the reality is that I wanted to get involved in a serious relationship, and she helped me to get that across."

DiGiovanni has written to the petite Asian woman with a sailor's mouth. Only he has written just two words. "Wow." And "Hello."

He tells this to Dodson, who balks. Hello means nothing, she tells him. He needs to write one that shows he's interested and wants to keep talking.

He goes back to the drawing board and sends the woman a message on Thursday:

Hi I have had a few days to reflect your profile. AND I would love to share some cocoa and or herb tea with you maybe something cool like DALI? happy holidays and great times. ROB

She calls herself "VivaMelania" on Match.com and says she's a "self-expressed, balanced, witty woman seeking love & connection." Her profile mentions how she's climbed a pyramid in Egypt, done volunteer work in South Africa and walked on fire in Hawaii. She notes that she's looking for someone who "deeply desires a lasting relationship."

She keeps track of her results in three folders. Since October 2003, 863 men have sent her e-mails. Of those, she's corresponded with or gone out on dates with 46. And of those, three remain in her "maybe" file.

If she were coaching herself, Dodson said she would tell herself that she's on the right track. That these things take time. That she has a great profile, one that truly tells people who she is. That her attitude should remain positive and that she should have faith. And that one day, she will meet him, maybe online, maybe not.

Times researcher Caryn Baird contributed to this report.