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Bringing color back to the red carpet

PREVIEW: Joan & Melissa Live at the Golden Globes airs tonight from 6 to 8 on the TV Guide Channel. The Golden Globe Awards ceremony airs at 8 on WFLA-Ch. 8.

By SHARON FINK
Published January 16, 2005

FREAK OUT: Admit it. You missed them. You even yearned for them.

You didn't think you would. But without them, the red-carpet fashion parade at last year's Emmys turned into a freak show you wanted to flee: Star Jones' unrelenting narcissism on E!, Finola Hughes' goofy happy talk on the Style Network, ABC's infomercial operation.

At least when they were on the red carpet, it was a freak show that kept you glued to the set in morbid fascination.

Joan and Melissa Rivers missed carpet duty at September's Emmys after leaving the E! network in July for the TV Guide Channel. E! had exclusive cable carpet rights for the Emmys, meaning mother and daughter were home on what is usually one of their biggest nights.

"I was in Connecticut, and I just pretended it wasn't happening," Joan said in a conference call last week. "I wore jeans and sneakers, and got so upset we weren't there."

With no one wanting exclusivity to the Golden Globes red carpet, the Riverses are back for tonight's awards show. It will be their first appearance as part of their TV Guide Channel deal (which includes a clause that the network's omnipresent programming scroll will be turned off while they're on the screen).

Get ready to freak out.

"The reason people tune in to us," Joan said, "I say what would I say to my friend if I were sitting next to her watching this. "Were they drunk? Were they on drugs? Did you see her breasts hit her knees?' "

THEIR AGENDA: Both Riverses say that as much as fashion disasters make their night, they don't go onto the carpet expecting anyone to be the worst.

"I'm anxious . . . to see who makes a mistake," Melissa said during the conference call.

"You pray for them to come out and (then) say, "Thank you, God,' " Joan said.

Unfortunately, the actors who walk the red carpet these days haven't produced a go-to disaster person, Melissa said. But that's the Riverses' fault, Joan said: "The tragedy is that we have made everyone sit up and get a stylist."

ON THE UPSIDE: Nicole Kidman is one star they're looking forward in a good way to seeing (though last year her Globes dress was a flapper-flashback mess). They're also eager for anyone from Sex and the City (which has its final nominations, including one for Sarah Jessica Parker) and the multinominated women of Desperate Housewives.

HOW TO EARN BROWNIE POINTS: If a star is going to take a fashion risk at an awards show, the Globes is the place to do it, the Riverses said. Joan even had words of encouragement for attendees: "(The Globes are) fun, it's dinner, everybody's having a couple of drinks. It's the time to wear the micromini with no underwear."

HOW NOT TO EARN BROWNIE POINTS: Deny you've had plastic surgery, Botox injections, teeth work, etc. "It's hard to not react when (stars) say, "No, I'm just feeling very rested' and they have that oozing scar behind their ear," Melissa said.

But, she said, she can swear that one person likely to walk the carpet tonight has not had anything done to her despite what she looks like on TV and in pictures: Nicolette Sheridan of Desperate Housewives.

"I've known Nicolette for years," Melissa said. "In person she does look like herself."

WHO WILL THEY BE WEARING? The Riverses were scheduled to sit down with their stylist, Carrie Fetman , on Thursday to pick their Golden Globes dresses from about 50 Fetman was to round up.

"We . . . do a mad free-for-all of picking and choosing," Joan said. "We have a lady from Russia, speaks no English. Ella. She pins and fits. I've never spoken to her without pins in her mouth."

As for accessories, Joan said she "absolutely" would be wearing something from the jewelry line she sells on the shopping network QVC. "I love mixing my $39 bracelets - which are fabulous, may I add - and mix them with my Fred Leightons and Harry Winstons."

EXPLODING STAR: In the world of red-carpet schmoozing and sniping, E! has been the obvious loser in the Riverses' departure. Its selection of Star Jones to replace them was roundly slammed after her debut at the Emmys, where it should not have surprised anyone that Jones turned every interview into something about herself.

(Trying to make the best of things, E!'s commercials promoting its Globes red-carpet show have Jones saying to the camera, "I get it. It's not all about me," while on purpose or not, her expression says, "Oh, yes it is.")

Joan and Melissa said they have no rivalry with Jones, and vice versa, because not only did they leave E! with no hard feelings, they are friends with Jones.

"I ran into Star a couple of weeks ago. We were laughing," Melissa said. "There's no story here. Everyone gets along. We just have vastly different styles."

"But it's a better story if it's a bloodbath," Joan interjected. "So you tell that b--, look out."

Sharon Fink can be reached at 727 893-8525 or fink@sptimes.com

[Last modified January 16, 2005, 00:32:15]