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Lane Ranger

Lane Ranger on new trip with hankering for carts

By JAY CRIDLIN
Published January 28, 2005

For a while now, I've been hankering to drive a golf cart through Sun City Center.

Oh, I've ridden in many golf carts, including one buried beneath a pyramid of stuffed animals. I've cruised the streets of Sun City Center in a Model T. I've even driven a Thunderbird once featured in a James Bond movie.

But none of that would compare to the thrill of sitting behind the wheel of a gas-powered Club Car DS two-seater.

Several obstacles stood in my way, of course, such as the fact that I don't own a cart, and by law, I'm too young to live in Sun City Center. And who in their right mind would grant me unfettered use of their personal golf cart? I can picture it now:

DEPUTY: License and registration, please.

ME: Sure, but this is a golf cart. I couldn't have been going that fast.

DEPUTY: You were trying to jump the Little Manatee River.

Nevertheless, I thought I had my chance not long ago when I heard about a recent program designed to carry seniors to and from the Community Association Atrium Building so they could bypass a parking lot construction site. The program called for volunteers to drive a - gasp - eight-seater golf cart for two hours at a time.

But when I recently called to sign up, I was told the service had been abandoned. No one was using it.

This was a shame. As much as I would have liked driving the cart, it would have felt even better to know I was helping some of the folks in Sun City Center. It's been a pleasure covering traffic conditions there over the past two years, and residents have always been willing to lend a voice when needed.

But after 24 months of writing about roadwork, roadhogs, roadkill and accidents, the time has come for the Lane Ranger to put this column into park. From now on, I'll be corraling my steed at the Times headquarters in St. Petersburg.

If you live in Brandon, this is good news - it means there will be one less driver each morning on State Road 60. This could be the key to finally solving Brandon's traffic woes.

It is also good news if you are among the few who never liked Sun City Center's Golf Cart Parade, with which I am mildly obsessed. By my count, I've written something about this annual event on about 20 different occasions. That's 10 times the number of parades I've actually attended.

Since I began working in Brandon, my car has taken on more than 30,000 miles. (How much more? I don't want to know.) I've sustained two flat tires, a busted A/C, a locked ignition cylinder, a fritzy dashboard computer and an ugly bout of hurricane debris-induced undercarriage scarring. Also, one of my doors now honks every time I lock it.

But as you all know, car troubles are inevitable in east Hillsborough. Here, driving is a way of life, whether you're commuting to work in downtown Tampa; to a far-flung U-pick strawberry patch in Dover; to an Armwood Hawks state championship game in Gainesville; to the Manatee Viewing Center in Apollo Beach; to the last home in FishHawk after a day on the Alafia River; to E.G. Simmons Park with a box of fried fish and a picnic blanket, anticipating a clear beachfront view of the St. Petersburg skyline.

The best you can hope for is to get where you're going while hitting as few potholes as possible. These days, arriving without incident is an accomplishment in and of itself.

Many thanks to those of you who have assisted the Ranger along the way, especially the employees of Hillsborough County, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, the Florida Highway Patrol and the Florida Department of Transportation.

As you're driving on without me, remember to exercise due diligence in your travels. Buckle up, stay safe, and always watch the road. Unless you're reading your newspaper while sitting in traffic, in which case I say, enjoy Marmaduke.

Just kidding. Ten and two, people. Ten and two.

After two years, the Lane Ranger's light has finally turned green. But he can still be reached at cridlin@sptimes.com

[Last modified January 27, 2005, 09:33:08]