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101 Gasparilla

Here's the shiny, cheap, generous, bare, smelly, nice, krewed truth about Tampa's longest-running party.

By RICK GERSHMAN
Published January 28, 2005

Related 10 News video:

Saturday marks the 101st Gasparilla Pirate Fest

Some people have enjoyed more excitement in a single Gasparilla Pirate Fest weekend than others have in their entire lives. Now that we've reached the 101st anniversary, let's take a look back at some of the highlights and lowlights of Tampa's biggest celebration:

1. Beads became a regular feature at the 1986 Gasparilla. Price of a basic bead necklace: a few cents. Watching people do anything and everything for one: priceless.

2. Gasparilla's faux pirates first invaded Tampa by ship in 1911. But even from Day One, most of them arrived three sheets to the wind.

3. Gasparilla's second krewe, the Krewe of Venus, formed in 1966. And even after 39 years, Gasparilla officials still refuse to admit any group calling itself the Krewe of Uranus.

4. No Gasparillas were held from 1942 through 1946 because of World War II. Subsequent wars, lacking impressive Roman numerals, held no sway over the event.

5. This from locally produced Web blog girlandgeek.com: "Favorite quote from last year's Gasparilla: "These beads are making me walk funny - Danny.' "

6. Last week's children's parade garnered record attendance. A few kids reportedly held signs that read: "I am cute. Give me beads."

7. The 1914 festival took on an Egyptian angle to honor the discovery of King Tut's tomb.

8. Pirates and mummies - now there's an inspired combination of themes.

9. City leaders rejoiced when Holiday, a national magazine, attended the 1947 Gasparilla to publish a feature story.

10. They were less pleased when the story referred to the festival as "slapstick comedy" and complained that Tampa smelled.

11. Well, of course Tampa smells - during Gasparilla. Add sweaty revelers, cannon and cigar smoke, people who pee anywhere/any time, and occasional vomit piles to that fresh-off-the-bay reek and you've got yourself Eau de Nasty.

12. I am cute. Give me Super Bowl tickets.

13. The original Gasparilla krewe, Ye Mystic Krewe, inaugurated its first black members under community pressure in 1992, a mere 28 years after the Civil Rights Act.

14. The Gasparilla Distance Classic debuted in 1978. And 27 years later, I'm still too lazy to have run in any of 'em.

15. Mary Lee Douglas was the first crowned Queen of Gasparilla in 1904.

16. Her initials are the same as those of the notorious Chicago gang Maniac Latin Disciples.

17. Relax, we're not saying she was a member.

18. But we're not ruling it out, either.

19. This year's Gasparilla poster comes in two versions, one available to the public and one just for Ye Mystic Krewe members that's slightly different - or as the krewe would call it, better.

20. In 2001, the day parade - which would produce record crowds nearly double the average - was moved up to January to coincide with Super Bowl XXXV at Raymond James Stadium.

21. This historically is known as the "Will This Friggin' Traffic Never Friggin' Move" weekend.

22. Ybor Brewing Co. produced the first batch of its seasonal Gaspar's Ale to appreciative drinkers in November 1994.

23. Proving far less popular: Buckhorn Brew, Steinbrenner Stout and Wade's Wine Cooler.

24. After an explosion of new krewes in the 1990s, the festival-founding Ye Mystic Krewe demanded - ultimately unsuccessfully - that only its members be allowed to dress as pirates for the 2004 centennial.

25. Considering their history, we can only assume they expected the other krewes to dress as mummies.

26. From its Web site: "The Krewe of Pandora was formed . . . for women to socialize, network, mentor young women and provide charitable services to the community through fundraising and volunteerism."

27. From its Web site: "The Krewe of RumRunners (was founded to) provide resources for, and put a smile on the face of, the kids within our Tampa Bay community . . . "

28. From its Web site: "The purpose of the Krewe (of Agustina de Aragon) is to honor all women of courage, encourage interaction and friendship among women of diverse economic, social and religious backgrounds . . . "

29. See, and you thought it was all about making business connections and partying with your buddies.

30. The very first Gasparilla featured 50 satin-clad horsemen appearing on city streets and claiming to be Gaspar's pirate crew.

31. A century later, krewe members no longer party exclusively in their jammies.

32. The second Gasparilla parade, in 1905, was the first to include automobiles. But only three car owners participated, because others still had not mastered driving.

33. Now we strongly discourage driving during Gasparilla for entirely different reasons.

34. Around the time of the 2003 festival, mayoral candidate Frank Sanchez proclaimed that Ye Mystic Krewe should allow female members. Over the next nine days, he publicly reversed himself on the topic, then switched back again.

35. Flip-flop! Flip-flop!

36. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition defines krewe as "any of several groups whose members organize and participate in the annual Mardi Gras carnival."

37. Nope, no mention of Gasparilla in that definition.

38. Actually, there's no entry for "Gasparilla" whatsoever in that dictionary.

39. No entry for "Thunderbug," either.

40. Stupid dictionary hates Tampa. Jealous.

41. Want to start a krewe? According to the Inter-Krewe Council, the first requirement is to avoid using a name similar to any established krewe: "For instance, do not use Ye Mystic Krewe of . . . or the Knights of . . . or Ye Loyal Krewe of . . . etc."

42. Guess my application for Ye Mystic Loyal Royal Noble Unsinkable Krewe of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is out.

43. From a Feb. 9, 2000, letter to the Tampa Tribune written by a Riverview woman: "We experienced the Gasparilla parade. Instead of fun for all, it was trouble, beer and bared breasts for all."

44. Based on her expectations, we're guessing she was in a coma for all the other Gasparillas.

45. Wonder how she felt about last year's Super Bowl halftime show.

46. In 1931, King Gasparilla's float was pulled by eight mules, according to The History of Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla 1904-1979, by Nancy Turner. Also, she wrote, "a number of blacks dressed as African slaves walked alongside the float."

47. The story continues: "It all started out fine but soon the lead mule refused to budge and another began balking. . . . By the time (the float) reached the fairgrounds, there was only one mule left."

48. You guessed it: "The blacks who accompanied the float had to push it in front of the grandstands. . . . "

49. See, and you thought that Egyptian thing was the worst idea ever.

50. Bucco Bruce, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' logo for the team's first two decades, was designed by krewe member Lamar Sparkman in 1975.

51. The foppish, winking and feather-capped Bruce, saber clenched between his teeth, would have been no match for Jose Gaspar.

52. Just like most Bucs teams of that era were no match for their competition.

53. At the 2002 festival, 76 people were arrested for underage drinking. As usual, no women were arrested for flashing their breasts.

54. But we all know more than a few who should have been.

55. Speaking of which, two topless dancers performed for about 500 Ye Mystic Krewe pirates in 1977 at a pre-Gasparilla luncheon inside Curtis Hixon hall.

56. The dancers hesitated to bare their breasts until a judge in the audience assured them they wouldn't be arrested, according to a newspaper report. 57. One of the dancers later recalled: "They were a good audience, but they didn't tip."

58. Joe Redner supplied the dancers.

59. In the 1992 parade, according to reports, new Buccaneers coach Sam Wyche earned some of the loudest cheers.

60. For the last time ever.

61. In recent years the city has provided about 400 portable toilets along the day parade route. Seem like a lot?

62. The city estimates day parade attendance at about 400,000. No wonder those lines seem so long.

63. In 2000, Fort Myers novelist James Kaserman published Gasparilla: Pirate Genius, his take on the pirate legend.

64. From Page 127 of Kaserman's book: "Now you (bleep) son-of-a-(bleep); if you don't get the (bleep) off my ship, I'll . . . blow both your (bleep)-(bleep) heads to kingdom come," Jose whispered with the hiss of an angry serpent.

65. From Page 288 of Kaserman's book: "They first rape the women, often as their husbands and children are forced to watch. Then they kill the parents in front of their children, and finally kill the children. . . . Then they gut the bodies, disembowel them and fill them with rocks."

66. Guess that's why there were no readings from Gasparilla: Pirate Genius to kick off this year's children's parade.

67. The first Gasparilla cookbook came out in 1961. Every single dish can be complemented with beer.

68. The Gasparilla invasion was a theme in local mystery author M. Diane Vogt's 2002 novel, Gasparilla Gold.

69. Good thing she back-burnered that silly idea about a murder leading to a trail of clues hidden in Leonardo da Vinci paintings.

70. Members of the Krewe of Brigadoon, Crewe of Bobbie C. Davis and Krewe of Agustina de Aragon produced the "185 Days to Gasparilla Pub Crawl" last July.

71. Hard to knock their eagerness, but isn't once a year enough?

72. In 1904, Tampa Morning Tribune society editor Mary Louise Dodge created the festival by linking the Gaspar legend with May Day events and copying New Orleans' pirate invasion theme.

73. Once Tampa stole its thunder, poor little Mardi Gras never recovered.

74. Police estimated the attendance at the 1989 parade to be between 300,000 to 750,000.

75. Between 300,000 and 750,000? That's as specific as they could get?

76. Try making that point next time you're in traffic court: "Your honor, I'm not sure how fast I was going. I just know it was somewhere between 30 and 75."

77. There were no parades from 1907 to 1909, supposedly due to lack of interest. This was a huge disappointment to would-be host Dick Clark.

78. This year, Gasparilla organizers moved the invasion up one week to prevent competition with the Super Bowl. One-game-short quarterbacks Peyton Manning and Ben Roethlisberger are hereby invited to join us and drown their sorrows.

79. The Gasparilla day parade, traditionally held on Mondays, shifted to Saturday in 1988 in the hopes more people could attend. That took 84 years to figure out?

80. Mondays, from then on, were reserved for hangovers.

81. Some on Tuesday. You know who you are.

82. Edward R. Gunby - no, not Gumby - was the first crowned King of Gasparilla.

83. Organizers canceled the parade in 1991 rather than give in to calls to integrate the krewes. Rumor has it a charmed Strom Thurmond sent flowers.

84. Bamboleo was the city's fill-in festival that year. It didn't do well, but by all indications it was pleasantly intolerance-free.

85. Bamboleo, by the way, took its name from a "hip-swaying Latin-American dance to rhythms of Afro-Cuban origin."

86. We have no idea what that means either.

87. Tampa's fire chief and fire marshal rode in the parade for many years. Until 1998, that is, when then-city fire Chief Pete Botto ejected fire Marshal Melvin Stone from his parade perch. Botto contended other department staffers thought it was unfair Stone got to ride and they didn't.

88. Stone just happened to be the highest-ranking black official in the department at that time. Maybe you saw that coming.

89. At the 1971 Debutante Ball, the late Gasparilla King "Red" Pittman, who was holding his crown on his lap, accidentally set it afire with a cigarette. He was unscathed but wore the charred crown the rest of the evening.

90. The treasurer of 2005 Gasparilla Festival of the Arts in March is Chip Storm.

91. Wow, what a cool name. Chip Storm. He should become a weather forecaster.

92. He could replace Steve Jerve. Sure, we hear Jerve's a very nice guy, but he scares us. You know, a 10-foot-tall guy screaming "VIPIR" all the time.

93. George Hardee first suggested using Jose Gaspar's legend for the party that became Gasparilla. Guess Hardee-illa didn't have the right ring.

94. Gasparilla got its name tagged to another event in 1989, a gymnastics tournament here in Tampa.

95. Pirates and gymnasts - now there's an inspired combination of themes.

96. Recycling enthusiast David Rulison says he has collected several hundred dollars after every parade since 1979 by collecting discarded beer and soda cans.

97. And yet your Star Trek collector dishes still aren't worth diddly.

98. Winner of the 2002 Gasparilla Distance Classic, a 15K run: Tony Teats. Wonder if pirates would consider that worthy of beads.

99. According to Gaspar's legend, when defeated by a U.S. Navy warship, the pirate seized a heavy chain, wrapped it around his waist and neck, and leaped into the water, brandishing his sword in a final gesture of defiance as he sank into the sea.

100. That's defiance? Isn't the captain supposed to fight to the death? Go down with the ship?

101. Mayor Pam, maybe you shouldn't hand over the keys this year. I think we can take this guy.

Sources: Archives of the St. Petersburg Times; The Tampa Tribune; Gasparilla: Pirate Genius by James Kaserman; Gasparilla Gold by M. Diane Vogt; girlandgeek.com; gasparillapiratefest.com; interkrewe.org; The History of Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla 1904-1979 by Nancy Turner.

[Last modified January 28, 2005, 09:43:45]