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Some lip-smacking good stuff

By SHARON FINK
Published January 28, 2005

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Pucker up: Few things match the experience of getting mail at work that looks like porn.

In this case it was a box made to look like a magazine -- one that was 123/4 inches by 91/2 inches by 2 inches thick. It had a red cover with two people about to lock lips and teases to "stories" that said "New kissing techniques: described in detail from start to finish," "What NOT to do when trying to get kissably close" and "This day in KISSTORY."

This was how Close-Up toothpaste chose to get attention for its two newest versions (freshening red gel and whitening mint sparkle gel!). But the sex wasn't meaningless. Close-Up surveyed 2,200 men and women around the country about kissing and got these results:

- 79 percent thought that kissing anyone not a family member or certified friend amounts to cheating on your significant other.

- Americans kiss an average of five times a day.

- During at least one of these kisses, almost 40 percent fantasize about kissing someone else, women most likely about an ex, men about a friend.

- 82 percent consider bad breath the ultimate kiss turnoff.

- 86 percent claimed that past partners had praised their lip abilities. (Yeah, right.)

- Celebrities most wanted for making out: Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.

And now to take the romance right out of it: "It's amazing what goes on for lipstick ... the amount of regulations ... and the molecular levels of study." -- Ken Marenus, chemist for cosmetics giant Clinique.

And now to give some of it back: For everyone too paralyzed to do anything but fantasize about a lip workout with their secret crush ... for every committed couple in that boredom stage ... for everyone with too many issues to properly say "I'm sorry," "I want you back" or "Let's go for ice cream" ...

... we present the Virtual Wingman. At virtualwingman.net, a team of writers is waiting to write for the lovesick/bored/tortured a personalized letter announcing your intentions to your loved/potential loved one.

Fill out a form on the site with a few personal details, and the letter will be worked up in 24 to 48 hours and e-mailed to your intended.

The lovesick/bored/tortured have the option of getting a reply sent to them or to Virtual Wingman, which will forward it.

Male mail: British shirtmaker Thomas Pink is rolling out its spring and summer collection for men, who should pay attention to the shirts' quality and not that they are grouped together in categories called "Flora and Fauna," "Sunkissed" and "Flights of Fancy."

- Men thinking about adding facial hair to their appearance should consider at their peril this advice from the guys behind the Art of Shaving products: Moustaches are a symbol of machismo and power, and the five-day beard is all the rage in Hollywood.

- A new line of grooming products called Billy Jealousy claims to be tailored for one of those great advertising oxymorons: the "sophisticated bad boy."

Mock now, buy later: The latest addition to the wrinkle-cream brigade, Lisse Expert Advanced from Estee Lauder, claims to be the first antiwrinkle treatment cream tailor-made to each individual's wrinkles.

- Sharon Fink fink@tampabay.com

[Last modified January 26, 2005, 11:49:05]