Why do guys need their night out?
By JILL RODGERS
Published January 28, 2005
What, exactly, do men do on guys night out? Why are they so adamant that this one night of "freedom" is vital to their survival?
All the men I know have a guys night out. It's simply an understanding with their girlfriend, fiancee or (in my case) wife that at least one night a week is reserved for the guys -- just the guys.
The request seems reasonable. As far as I know, the guys get together at Red Dog, Whiskey Park or MacDinton's to have some drinks, play Golden Tee and talk sports. Right?
Then why do we women get so fired up and uptight about guys night? Maybe we don't trust them as much as we should.
Many of us seek revenge by proclaiming a girls night out. Yes, we enjoy each other's company and a night out on the town, but are we doing it just to compete with the guys? My preferred form of revenge is a shopping spree -- lots of satisfaction without the hangover.
The best part of guys night is the rule that we (the guys and girls) aren't allowed to be in the same bar on this sacred night. If the night is truly about male bonding, and not about something less desirable, what's the big deal? Now, in addition to accepting guys night, we must declare our intended destination to the guys to avoid a "run-in." Plus, we come to find out that the guys plot these nights days in advance. They spend countless hours calling and e-mailing each other to set the plans. They certainly don't dedicate this kind of time and energy to planning a date. Could we be jealous of the bond these guys have?
Guys night out is more than just a casual night of male bonding. Most guys nights I've lived through involve heavy drinking, ridiculously late nights and at least one small argument with a significant other. You've seen a group of guys celebrating guys night out. There are at least four of them and sometimes as many as 10, all wearing Banana Republic-type shirts and smelling of nice cologne, drinking and talking loudly, relishing in their one night of freedom.
Girls nights that I participate in consist of a few "ladies night" cocktails, a little chatter about the parade of outrageous attire and a timely return home to ensure we're able to function for work the next day.
It is our decision to spend girls night the way we do. The guys never interfere with our plans because they fear we'll retaliate and try to restrict their evening. We could partake in the same revelry that the guys do but the bottom line is: We really don't want to and we'd rather they didn't either. Girls act more responsibly while the guys bask in the last days of immaturity.
Does guys night actually cause us any harm? If we want to remain in relationships with these men we may just have to accept guys night out as a part of life. Love it or hate it, it's here to stay.
If you see my husband out enjoying one of his guys nights, be sure to remind him of my next shopping spree.
- Jill Rodgers is the development specialist for the Newspaper in Education department of the St. Petersburg Times. You can reach her at jrodgers@tampabay.com