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What's Brewing

Live like a dog: in the moment

By SUSAN THURSTON
Published February 11, 2005

I didn't want to go.

I'd had a tough week at work and wanted to call it quits early on Friday. Tired and grumpy, I wasn't in the mood to hear a lecture on how to focus on things that really matter.

What really mattered was having some time to do nothing, for once.

But I dragged myself anyway, figuring there must be plenty of people who wanted to go but - surprise - were just too busy.

I'M GLAD I DID. In 90 minutes, you can't solve all of life's problems, but you can start thinking about them.

Speaker Terry Hershey made it entertaining.

St. John's Episcopal Church in Old Hyde Park hired Hershey to lead a six-part series, "Give It a Rest: Finding the Sacred in a Busy World." Free to anyone, it aimed to help people concentrate on the important stuff when life gets out of hand.

Hershey, who lives near Seattle, credited his black Labrador retriever Conroy with teaching him about things that really matter.

Every night they would take a 2-mile walk along the same route. For Conroy, every walk was different. One tail-wagging thrill after another. New, fascinating smells to explore.

For Hershey, every walk was the same. He wanted to get there so he could get back. Along the way, he filled his mind with all the things that needed to get done after the walk.

Conroy, named after author Pat Conroy, has since died. But his lessons live on: Real life happens in the mundane. Life's not when you arrive, it's the direction you're going in. Enjoy the journey.

IN BETWEEN JOKES about what really matters - chocolate and his memory - Hershey, 50, said people share a basic fear. Not death, but dying with regrets that you never lived. We know the music but we don't know the notes. We figure a $1-million house must be nice without asking what it looks like.

He told of an old woman who described how she would live her life again if given the chance. Eat more ice cream, eat less beans. Take more risks, have fewer imaginary problems and more real ones.

Travel a lot lighter.

As Americans, Hershey said, we're programmed to buy stuff. Once it fills our homes - and storage units - we have garage sales. Neighbors all come and buy our stuff. Then they have a sale and we buy their stuff.

Our identities get tangled in our possessions and jobs. How many times do people greet others with, "Hi, there. What do you do?"

No one answers, "I read books" or "I walk my dog." You respond by saying how you make money. After all, that was the question.

"If only" sentences invade our lives, Hershey said. "If only I'd lose weight, then I'd buy new clothes." We keep jewelry in the closet because it's too valuable to wear. We leave candles unburned. We wait to say "I love you."

Life isn't perfect, so don't try to make it that way, he said. All families are dysfunctional; accept what's real.

I left the lecture inspired and somewhat relieved. My life wasn't a disaster because of overwhelming schedules and too much stress.

Hershey's dog was right. Life's a gift to be savored and sniffed, in good times and bad.

THE LAST DROP: Thinking about buying a unit in Post Walk at Old Hyde Park? You're probably too late. About a week after the complex began selling the 134 units as condos, the waiting list for one- and two-bedroom condos has grown to 150. Tenants have first dibs until mid March. All but a few of the six townhouses, which start at $495,000, have been reserved by outside buyers. More proof that there's no time to ponder in this market.

Susan Thurston can be reached at 226-3394 or thurston@sptimes.com

[Last modified February 10, 2005, 11:48:06]