TV/Radio

Bland Super Bowl still offends some

By JOHN C. COTEY
Published February 11, 2005

The NFL and Fox's attempt to sanitize this year's Super Bowl - rejecting commercials, squeezing the life out of the pregame festivities, hiring Paul McCartney - paid off. Most of the half-million or so viewers who were offended by a split-second showing of Janet Jackson's breast kept their morality to themselves. But not all.

Despite what some critics called the most vanilla coverage of the Super Bowl ever, 33 complaints still found their way to FCC offices by Monday.

Perhaps the watchdogs at the Parents Television Council were too hungover after overindulging on cookies and milk during the game. To be fair, two complaints have merit. They were bored by the halftime show.

Right on.

Most years, the halftime show and commercials are the talk of the office the next day. By catering to an overly aggressive core of moral crusaders, Fox and the NFL put on a show that completely changed the dynamic of watercooler talk.

"Good water."

"Yeah. Mmmmm."

"I love Zephyrhills water."

"It's Evian."

"Really? Are you kidding me?"

How's this for silly: Three complaints were about last year's show. (Get over it, people.)

There were eight complaints about the commercial for godaddy.com, which spoofed a Congressional hearing on broadcast censorship, including a busty brunette who nearly had a wardrobe malfunction.

Not sure if the complaints were for her being busty or brunette, but the NFL was offended enough to order Fox not to show it again. (And like the good, little puppies it and ESPN are when it comes to NFL demands, it obliged.)

The two-minute version of the ad is at www.godaddy.com/gdshop/superbowl05/landing.asp?isc=bpshdr001

Of course, Cialis and its warning about "four-hour erections" prompted five complaints.

There were two complaints about references to drugs during McCartney's performance ("Jojo left his home in Tucson, Arizona, for some California grass").

But had the overeager complainers waited for the next verse, they could have lumped in a reference to a transvestite ("Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman, but she was another man").

Pepsi should have earned a complaint for using Carson Daly in a commercial but instead got written up for using Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, who ogled a strapping young fellow drinking a pop.

Maybe the dearth in complaints is proof Fox and the NFL didn't overreact in declining a hilarious Budweiser commercial that poked fun at last year's halftime mishap (www.budweiser.com/wardrobe_malfunction.html) which would have only reminded viewers of last year's great national tragedy and the suffering it caused our children.

But more likely, the complaints prove you can't make everyone happy unless you broadcast a blank screen at halftime, run only car commercials and fire Joe Buck.

Sorry, Joe, but one of the 33 complaints was about your performance. You have to go.

[Last modified February 11, 2005, 00:52:18]