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Enterprise on rise from getting babies to sleep

Many parents swear by a Tampa woman who has a knack for night-night. But one expert questions her method.

By DONG-PHUONG NGUYEN
Published February 14, 2005

TAMPA - Julia Hagge was all alone, caring for her infant twins. Physically exhausted with no time to shower or even catch her breath, she lost track of night and day.

"I was at the end of my rope," Hagge said. "It was just crazy."

When Jessica and David were 31/2 months, Hagge sent a message through her Moms of Multiples group, pleading for help.

"It's hard, because you read all those books, all these different opinions. When you're sleep deprived and physically exhausted, you don't know what's up or down," Hagge said. "I just needed someone to tell me what to do."

Another mom referred Hagge to Shari Mezrah, a South Tampa mother of two, who guarantees to have babies sleeping through the night by 91/2 weeks.

The two moms met over coffee and Mezrah devised a schedule for her.

Within a week, the twins were sleeping all night long and Hagge found time to shower.

"I felt like I had gotten my life back," she said. "She was a lifesaver."

Mezrah, 38, has two children, now 5 and 3, who slept through the night at 7 weeks.

Friends urged her to start a consulting business. About three years ago, she began doling out advice for a fee.

Last year, Mezrah started BabyTIME, picking up business through referrals. She charges $150 per session.

For $200, she's accessible by phone every day for a week.

So far, Mezrah estimates she has helped more than 50 families achieve success, meaning their babies started sleeping from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.

Of course, there were a few clients who couldn't stick to the agenda.

"Someone has to be committed to wanting to do it," she said. "It's obviously not for everyone."

Mezrah's secret is a strict schedule covering naps, meals, playtime and sleep time.

She likes to start when the babies are born, but hits the schedule hard when they turn 2 weeks.

If the baby's nap runs over, then you wake the baby up.

When it's time to eat, they eat.

If the baby wakes up before it's time, the baby stays in the crib until wakeup time.

"Children crave schedules," she said. "They feel the need to be guided. The parent takes control. It really helps families through postpartum issues."

Her method also excludes rocking the baby to sleep.

"Touching and holding are important, but sleep time is very important as well," she said. "We create a very positive environment in the child's room. They can be comforted by visual as well as tactile and sounds."

While Mezrah's clients say she has made a difference, a leading expert on child sleep habits, Dr. William Sears, said scheduling babies is risky.

Sears, a pediatrician and father of eight who promotes "attachment parenting," has a book coming out in September titled The Baby Sleep Book.

"When your baby cries, only your breasts leak milk and only your pulse goes up and only your sensitivity to calm the crying baby clicks in," Sears said. "(Mezrah's) method is simply a variation of the tired old theme, "Let em cry it out.' "

Sears acknowledged that there are special circumstances when babies need to be placed on schedules, such as those involving twins, but he cautioned about getting babies to sleep through the night so early on.

Babies, especially breast-fed ones, need frequent feedings. They may fail to thrive if they don't get adequate nutrition.

Also, getting a baby to adapt to a schedule entails ignoring their cries.

"This whole belief in baby training is a disaster because it's carried to the extreme," he said. "A baby's cry is a baby's language, and a baby cries in the middle of the night to say, "I need something. Please make it right here.' That's how they trust."

Sears said there needs to be balance.

"You need a rested mom, a happy mother," he said. "Yet, if you do sleep training too young and too rigidly, babies will not grow optimally."

Also, some babies are born sleepers, others aren't. All babies are different, and to have a stranger establish a schedule for your child is a risky experiment, Sears said.

"There comes a time when you do get them to suck their thumb to sleep or cuddle a teddy bear or be rocked by Dad, but that depends on the baby," he said.

Mezrah points to her own children as proof that her system works.

"My kids are pretty darn cool," she said. "They both are just very independent thinkers, and they know when they're going to play, when they're going to sleep, when they're going to eat."

Her children have never slept in bed with their parents and love their bedrooms, Mezrah said.

"They have created their own space, their own environment," Mezrah said. "They know they are loved and they have established boundaries."

Mezrah said once a schedule has been established, parents can deviate from the plan for special occasions, such as vacations.

But once they return home, it's back to the schedule.

"The goal is so that Mom and Dad can have a life of their own as well as being fabulous parents and enjoy parenthood the way it should be," Mezrah said. "It doesn't have to be so challenging."

[Last modified February 14, 2005, 08:25:02]