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At Gridiron Club, comic jabs take stage, political decorum set aside

WASHINGTON - John Kerry's wife sang about how happy she is that he wasn't elected. Karl Rove revealed his successful strategy for winning President Bush a second term. Wanna-be presidential candidates pressed for advantage in the 2008 race.

It was as close to Saturday Night Live as Washington gets, as journalists assumed the personas of politicians in song, dance and wisecracks at the Gridiron Club's 120th annual dinner.

It's a journalistic tradition in which, for one night, members of the Fourth Estate turn the tables on the powerful people they report and write about daily. The Gridiron Club's motto is to "singe, but never burn."

In a nod to 2008, they parodied the White House aspirations of Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska and Democratic Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico, featured speakers at the white-tie dinner.

Richardson compared the Bush administration's treatment of U.S. allies over the Iraq war to the NCAA basketball tournament.

"Sixty-four teams start and they're whittled down to just one," Richardson said in prepared remarks. "Kind of reminds me of what we've done with our allies."

Hagel paid tribute to Johnny Carson, a Nebraska legend, by impersonating Carnac the Magnificent, one of the late comedian's characters. "Answer: March Madness," Hagel said. "What do Democrats call my Social Security plan?"

Prison-striped Democratic leaders were seen trying to figure a way out of "Gitmo," the U.S. facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

One sketch had Massachusetts Sen. Kerry singing a lament about "why, oh why, oh why did I ever lose Ohio?" while in the next scene wife Teresa Heinz Kerry appeared positively giddy over her husband's loss to Bush. "Thank heaven, he lost the race," her character sang to the tune of Thank Heaven for Little Girls. "Now I can tell the press just how and when and where to go, and I'm allowed my wine and escargots."

Republicans were singed, too.

To the tune of Doo Wah Diddy Diddy, a Karl Rove impersonator sang about the challenges of turning Bush into presidential timber. "He looked smug, he looked dim. How we gonna win with him?" he sang. Bush and his wife, Laura, were in the audience.

[Last modified March 13, 2005, 00:23:15]