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By CHRISTOPHER COSENZA
Published April 13, 2005
Schneid (shnid) n. The place on which a sports team or figure does not want to be.
You won't find its real definition or origin in any dictionary, but all sports fans know it. The word apparently comes from "schneider," a German term for "tailor," and was once used in the card game of gin, meaning to prevent an opponent from scoring. If you were "schneidered" in gin you were "cut" (as if by a tailor) from contention. Today, to be "on the schneid" generally means you're a perennial underachiever or you haven't won "the big one."
North Carolina men's basketball coach Roy Williams spent most of his career on the schneid until his Tar Heels won the national title last week. Now that he's off it, let's take a look at those in pro sports who remain sitting precariously on this forsaken perch.
Baseball: The schneid (or in this case, the Curse) finally released the Red Sox from its grip last season after 86 years, but the Cubs still are in its clutches. Chicago last won the World Series in 1908 and has had a century of futility since, sprinkling in a few Series losses along the way. Don't hold your breath this season either.
Football: The Bills, right? Nope. Sure, they made it to the big game four years running, but they never did anything before that and haven't done anything since. No, the schneid's best friend has to be Minnesota. The Vikings make the playoffs just about every season, and yet they perpetually break the hearts of their Purple Phans, going 0-4 in Super Bowls and never ending the postseason with a victory.
Basketball: The Pacers, moderately successful, play in basketball country (Indiana) but haven't won an NBA title. The Clippers franchise, however, is mayor of Schneidville. The Clippers haven't captured any title, including division, conference or league, and no Clippers player has ever won a major award. The team has made the playoffs just three times since 1984 in a league where just about every team qualifies for the postseason.
Hockey: How about the Carolina Hurricanes, formerly the Hartford Whalers? In Hartford, the team won just one division title and never made the Stanley Cup final. The Hurricanes teased their fans by playing for the Cup in 2002, but they were no match for the Red Wings. After more than 25 years and no Cup, this team remains forever on the schneid, and since the NHL may never return, this couldn't be more true.
Golf: With Phil Mickelson thumbing his nose at the schneid last year, our search takes us across the pond to find the best golfer to never win a major (which is the gold standard for golfing schneidness). Darren Clarke, Sergio Garcia and Padraig Harrington come to mind as successful players sans majors, but no one beats Colin Montgomerie. Monty was the European PGA Tour's leading money winner seven consecutive years and is a former world No. 2, but his best finish in a major is runnerup three times. At 41 (42 in June) time is running out on the chap Americans love to hate.
Tennis: Let's not focus on majors here, but rather victories, since the schneid loves Anna Kournikova, and who doesn't? She's more famous for her looks than her play, but this Russian beauty's got game, which is why she's on the schneid for never winning a singles title. She's won in doubles, but on her own, she can only manage a mild upset or two. Good thing she's a looker.
Autos: Winning races is nice, but until you take the checkered flag in the Daytona 500 or win a points title, you're just another driver. It took Dale Earnhardt Sr. 20 years to shake the 500 schneid, finally winning it in 1998. So who owns the biggest schneid now? Mark Martin. He's had plenty of success, winning races on different circuits, but Daytona and the points title still eludes Martin, who will retire at the end of the season.
Coaching: We've searched high and low for the leader who personifies life on the schneid. It wasn't easy, but Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer rose to the top of this infamous honor. His teams almost always win in the regular season, as evidenced by his 177-117-1 career record, but the postseason hasn't been kind to Marty, going 5-12 and never making the Super Bowl. He may be the NFL's 2004 Coach of the Year, but he's just another man on the schneid to us.
-- Christopher Cosenza cosenza@tampabay.com
[Last modified April 19, 2005, 10:50:47]
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