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Savoring the moment sweetens the journey

By LAVERNE HAMMOND
Published April 26, 2005

How often have you said, "I sure will be happy when this is over"?

We can be talking about any number of things, but each time we say that, it means we believe happiness is something that happens in the future. We are in countdown mode.

It starts with "I can't wait until school is out."

When I was young, my classmates and I even would "X" out the days on the calendar, counting down until the end of school. Because of our bitter Wisconsin winters, we couldn't wait for spring. We looked forward to the time when we wouldn't have to bundle up and wear boots and head coverings that mussed our hair.

Later it was "I can't wait until I get married," followed by "I can't wait until the baby is born." If the babies were colicky and cranky and we had to walk the floor during their early months, we couldn't wait for that time to pass, too. In fact, at each stage of development, when problems arose, happiness always seemed to be just around the corner.

But wait: Suddenly, our young babies were old enough to start school. The house would seem empty for hours during the day. And before we knew it, our babies would be off on their own. "Where did the time go?" we would ask ourselves.

Time is a precious gift, but we often waste it by wishing for it to pass, convinced that something better awaits us in the future. Once that time is gone, however, there is no going back. Unfortunately, while we are wishing and preparing for that time in the future when we are convinced everything will be perfect, we are missing out on the joys of now.

While my classmates and I were counting down for spring, we were forgetting all of the things that we enjoyed about winter. Sipping hot chocolate after an afternoon of ice skating or toboganning. Lying down on the snow and flapping our arms to make angels.

Instead of counting down the days, wishing for those difficult stages of childhood to pass - from crawling to potty training - we could have been more fully enjoying those first precious years of our child's life.

We can enjoy life as we go along.

Early on, my mother taught me that getting to a place could be as much fun as arriving there. When we drove to the northern woods of Wisconsin in late summer when my father had his vacation, she would pack games we could play in the car to pass the time. But our favorite road game didn't even need any special materials. We called it the Alphabet Game. The object of the game was to find things along the route that began with each letter of the alphabet. The one who got the most points could pick out a small treat at the store where we made our "pit" stop. An automobile always brought the first point. The letters x, y and z, of course, were always the trickiest to find, but we also could include words on signs.

Back then our favorite ads were the series of small signs set up along the road by Burma Shave, the shaving cream company. Each sign, spaced several miles apart, continued the ad until the last one gave the name of the company, which my brother and I would shout out together.

I like to think of life itself as one big journey. Yes, we will be bored at times. We will be annoyed along the way. But there is a lot we can do and see as we travel along. We can't be doing something meaningful every waking hour, but we can try to enjoy each moment. We can appreciate the journey as well as the destination.

LaVerne Hammond, who divides her time between Wisconsin and Florida, is at work on her memoirs. Write her in care of Seniority, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg FL 33731.

[Last modified April 22, 2005, 08:50:04]