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Letter to the editor

Gimme five

Bonds on shelf, Buss in denial, hockey fans still on ice

By JOHN ROMANO
Published May 8, 2005

Five topics suitable for inane debate on talk radio:

THE BONDS MARKET: The season is barely a month old, and already Barry Bonds' chances of catching Hank Aaron have lessened considerably. Bonds had his third knee surgery in the past five months, and has no timetable for a return. If he's out until late July, he will be 41 and still 52 homers short. For comparison's sake, Aaron hit 22 homers after 41. Babe Ruth hit zero.

NICE SPIN MOVE: Lakers owner Jerry Buss says he does not regret trading Shaquille O'Neal. I'm sure he doesn't. But do you suppose he regrets losing 48 games, failing to make the playoffs for the first time in more than a decade and paying $14.1-million for Kobe Bryant to show no heart?

COLD AS ICE: Have you noticed how upset hockey fans are? How devastated they've been without the Stanley Cup playoffs? How utterly forlorn they seem? Nah, neither have I.

THANKS, PAL: One of the reasons Marlins owners cited for needing a new stadium was they were supposedly being kicked out of Dolphins Stadium after their lease expired in 2010. Oops. Not long before the stadium issue reached lawmakers in Tallahassee, Wayne Huizenga indicated that, gee, the Marlins would be welcome to stay at his stadium. Can you say sabotage? Apparently, ol' H. Wayne is still miffed about not getting his own baseball stadium.

CLOSEST TO THE PIN: A caddie, who acknowledges having an affair with his one-time boss, is now accusing LPGA golfer Jackie Gallagher-Smith of using him to get pregnant. Far be it from me to point it out, but somewhere in there is a joke about club covers.

Five signs the Yankees are in trouble:

5. IRS allowing them to amortize Kevin Brown.

4. Derek Jeter now dating Miss Hoboken.

3. Bat boy can bench press more than Jason Giambi.

2. Sparky Lyle is warming up in the bullpen.

1. Can't compete with that Red Sox-Devil Rays rivalry.

Carnell Williams is the prize of Tampa Bay's draft class, but tight end Alex Smith might also have a major impact. Smith looked impressive in last week's minicamp and the Bucs have been desperate for help at the position. How desperate? No Bucs tight end has had more than 350 receiving yards since 1995. Smith, taken in the third round, was drafted higher than any Bucs tight end since the immortal Harold Bishop was chosen in the third in 1994. Here is Tampa Bay's honor roll - such as it is - of tight ends:

1. Jimmie Giles: The good news? Of the five best receiving seasons by a Bucs tight end, Giles is responsible for four. The bad news? He hasn't played for the Bucs since 1986.

2. Jackie Harris: The only bright spot in the past 15 years. And it didn't last long. Harris had 62 receptions for 751 yards in '95, the second-highest total for a tight end and the best since Giles had 786 in '81. Unfortunately, Harris was gone a couple of years later.

3. Calvin Magee: For two seasons, he looked like he might be a suitable replacement for Giles. Led the Bucs in receptions in '86 and was second in receiving yards and touchdowns in '87. By '89 he had retired at age 26.

4. Ron Hall: Along with Magee, Harris and Giles, Hall is the only other tight end to have more than 500 receiving yards in a season. Hall was Tampa Bay's top tight end from 1988-93 and remains ninth on the team's all-time receptions list with 209.

5. Dave Moore: Never had a ton of receptions or yards, but he was a steady performer for the Bucs from 1992-2001. He also is second to Giles all time in touchdown receptions for a tight end with 24.

6-6: Record against the Red Sox and Yankees this season.

9-29: Record against the Red Sox and Yankees last season.

32: Losses for Dewon Brazelton if he continues his pace.

103: RBIs pace for Carl Crawford going into the weekend.

193: Games remaining until Stuart Sternberg is due to take over.

Pat O'Brien thinks you're hot.

[Last modified May 8, 2005, 00:46:16]