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A grand pairing

With the era of grandparents around the corner gone, children and seniors bond through letters, calls and e-mails. "She was like my best friend," a 9-year-old says of her 70-year-old pal.

By JEFFREY S. SOLOCHEK
Published May 20, 2005

KEYSTONE - The girls wore fancy dresses. The boys, well, a few had on ties.

Mitch Miller tunes warbled in the background as the Northwest Elementary School fourth-graders pinned corsages on their dates and escorted them to tables festooned with red, white and blue. Their guests, most in their 70s and 80s, smiled brightly at their young friends.

Pen pals for a year, the preteens and the seniors had gathered for their year-end prom. The catered affair, complete with dancing, had everyone laughing as they shared memories, and crying as they realized they might not see each other again.

Dottie Miller, 70, showed off the final letter her pal, Melissa Marchena, gave her.

"I am going to miss you," Melissa wrote. "I will keep you in my heart."

Miller, who has participated in the class project for four years, said such memories do not fade. She keeps the biographies that children have written about her on a shelf, along with their letters and gifts.

The connection can turn to a real bond, she said, just as firm as that with her own grandchildren.

"The ones I had last year still keep in touch with me and call me," Miller said. "It's just wonderful."

Teacher Dawn Scilex came up with the idea to bring her young students in contact with area seniors after seeing that many children have little contact with their grandparents. Many of the children did not want to go to Carrollwood Care Center, where several of the pen pals live, when the first trip came. Scilex attributed it to fear of the unknown.

By the time senior prom rolled around, the relationships had grown tight. At first required to write one letter a week, the kids decided on their own to do more.

"They were writing three and four times a week," Scilex said. "They call each other and e-mail each other. They are good buddies."

Jeannette Porche, 60, kicked up her heels and danced the hokey pokey and the chicken dance under the blazing sun with her pen pal, 9-year-old Marttin Emmanuel. She headed for the shade when the heat got the better of her.

"I think this is awesome," said Porche, whose own grandchildren are older than Marttin. "It gets the children to interact with adults much older than Mommy and Daddy. ... A lot of them don't get to interact with a wheelchair, or interact with their grandparents. I think it's a great idea."

Marttin, sweaty from the dancing, said he sees his grandparents just once a year, if that. They live in India, where he was born.

He said he learned about Tampa history from Porche, a Tampa native who runs a church-based school, and also had a great time with her.

"This reminds me of my grandparents, so I'm not all alone," he said.

At the end of the prom, the students presented the books they wrote about their pen pals, based on the many letters they had received. They had titles like as The Outrageous Life of Dottie Miller.

Janelle Urra, 9, said the experience meant volumes to her. She hugged a quilted lavender and blue pillow that her pen pal, Helen Jeffers, made for her. Janelle's favorite colors, noted Jeffers, 70.

"I ask her questions, sometimes about her favorite color, where did she grow up, and I talk to her about things I like. We both like walking and riding our bikes," Janelle said. "I just moved to this school and I didn't have friends. I just started talking to her, and she was like my best friend."

Jeffers, who has four grandchildren nearby, said her relationship with Janelle was special to her, too.

"I have always loved kids," she said. "It was like having another grandchild."

- Jeffrey S. Solochek can be reached at 813 269-5304 or solochek@sptimes.com

[Last modified May 19, 2005, 08:41:13]