Bell feels 'relaxed' in outing
By MARC TOPKIN
Published May 24, 2005
The most important thing, Rob Bell said, was that he felt comfortable.
For the first time since going on the disabled list because of anxiety attacks, the Devil Rays right-hander stood on the mound Monday and pitched in a game.
It may have been only an extended spring training contest against Toronto minor-leaguers in Dunedin, and he pitched only two innings, allowing one run, but it was an important step.
"I know what I've felt like, and I felt comfortable," Bell said from his Tampa home Monday evening. "I felt pretty good. I felt relaxed. My stuff wasn't where I wanted it to be as far as sharpness, but I haven't been on the mound in almost two weeks. My thought process was there, my feel for the ball was there. It's a step forward."
Bell took himself out of the May 10 game against the White Sox after throwing five mostly wild pitches and had trouble during a brief bullpen session the next day. He said later that he had a racing heartbeat and breathing problems, and couldn't focus.
The Rays put him on the disabled list May 14 for what were called "personal and psychological reasons," and Bell has been working out regularly at the minor-league complex, visiting with specialists, including a sports psychologist, and doing extensive self-examination.
Bell, whose problems surfaced after he was moved from the rotation to the bullpen, is eligible for reinstatement Sunday, but wants to be sure everything is right before setting a date for his return.
"My biggest fear is that people are saying he had a bad five or six weeks and wants to escape his problems," Bell said. "That's not the situation. I'm dealing with some serious issues, and I need to bring them to a vanilla point where I can move forward.
"I love the game, I love putting on the uniform, I love living here in the Tampa Bay area, I want to be part of what we have moving forward here. It's tough to have to deal with this bout of whatever it is and try to put it behind me. ...
"It's embarrassing to say I've been dealing with anxiety. You care so much about the game, but when you think you have a grip on the ball, the ball has more of a grip on you than you ever thought imaginable. I care too much about the game not to search for every solution and every answer."
Bell is scheduled to pitch in another extended spring game Saturday, hoping to throw 70-75 pitches in preparation for reclaiming his long relief role.
In Monday's start, Bell allowed two hits and walked three (two on close 3-and-2 pitches) and threw 20 of his 35 pitches for strikes.
"It was awesome," he said. "To go out and compete, to get my feet on the ground, get the juices pumping, to harness everything, it was a step in a positive direction."
--Information from the Associated Press was used in this report.