Briefs

The funniest thing is Kournikova thinks she played well

By SHARON FINK
Published June 5, 2005

A ROMANCE ADVICE COLUMN WOULD BE EVEN FUNNIER: Anna Kournikova - whose average career rankings on the lists of world's sexiest women and most gossiped-about people are higher than her average singles ranking on the WTA Tour - is writing a fitness column for Elle magazine.

But we're not here to quibble about whether she actually writes it. We're here to quibble about it being called a fitness column. Based on the first one, in the June issue, it's obviously a humor column.

What else could it be with lines such as:

"As long as I could slam my serve at a Williams sister..."

"My schedule (included) ... 30 minutes of sprints to make me lightning quick on the court."

"I also did old-school plyometrics ... because that sort of conditioning ramps up your explosiveness so that you can run to the net and get a crucial drop shot."

"I could go Rollerblading for the first time and not worry that if I fell and hurt myself, oops, there go my chances at the U.S. Open."

IT'S GOOD TO SEE FORMER PROS KEEPING BUSY IN RETIREMENT: Dennis Rodman 's May included being host at a launch party for a new Captain Morgan rum called Tattoo; signing a deal to write his third book of memoirs, his agent told the New York Post ; and entering next month's Wife-Carrying World Championships in Finland.

"It was Rodman himself who contacted us," wife-carrying committee spokesman Eero Heinaenen told Finnish news agency STT. "He's tried just about everything, but not this."

In the annual event, a man covers an approximately 275-yard steeplechase course with his wife hanging upside down on his back with her legs slung over his shoulders. Rodman will be required to tote his wife of two years, Michelle Moyer . The record time, set by an Estonian couple, is 55.5 seconds.

NEXT WEEK ON INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO : He won't rival Stanislavski and his method-acting ideas, but Nelly had a few observations about the craft for the Associated Press after appearing in The Longest Yard .

On motivation: "It was natural for me because I could relate to the role so easily, as far as me playing football and hanging out with the guys."

On preparation: "I caught a touchdown pass from Warren Moon . Intercepted Dan Marino . Caught a pass on Deion ( Sanders ); that was when Deion was young. ... This was in the MTV Rock 'n' Jock game. Let me know if you didn't see it. I can send you the tape."

On realism: "The scene where my character gets hit and injured, that was me. These guys were going hard at us. (Former NFLer Bill ) Romanowski , he wanted to hit us for real. When we got to camp, something clicked in his head."

IF HE THINKS PIGS CAN FLY, IT'S BEST NOT TO ARGUE: The New York Gi-ants' Michael Strahan is launching a line of pig parts for grillin' and chillin', and the signature offering is pork wings. "You hold it just like a chicken wing, but it's a lot bigger," he told the New York Post . "It gives you a greater amount of meat. It's tasty." Another Strahan favorite - and sure to be one of heart doctors everywhere - is something he calls bacon steak: "It's a very thick cut. You don't need eggs with it. This is truly a meal."

NEXT, THE DADDY RACKET: No one can blame Lleyton Hewitt for being so distracted at home that he had a "mishap" and cracked a rib, which knocked him out of the French Open. Besides settling into his quick engagement to Australian soap opera star Bec Cartwright , buying a $3.4-million Sydney home (and furnishing it) together and setting a wedding date (July 21, after Wimbledon, the Australian Associated Press reports), Hewitt found out not long before the accident that he's going to be a father.

Cartwright is pregnant, due in November.

--Sharon Fink can be reached at 727 893-8525 or fink@sptimes.com

[Last modified June 5, 2005, 02:15:25]