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Film review

'Adventure' kids can do without

Lavagirl and Sharkboy sprang from the mind of a 7-year-old, and it shows in the new 3-D movie. The special effect is much better showcased elsewhere.

By STEVE PERSALL
Published June 9, 2005

	[Dimension Films]
	Taylor Dooley plays Lavagirl, and Taylor Lautner is Sharkboy.
	Coming to a darkened room near you Some things old, a handful new, some borrowed plots and a bit of boo: Summer films again marry the proven and the preposterous to lure fans to the movie theater. (5/19/05)

The good news about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D is that filmmaker Robert Rodriguez eliminated those splitting headaches caused by his previous optical delusion, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over. But freedom from physical pain isn't a good reason to recommend any movie.

Before discussing the stupidity of Sharkboy and Lavagirl's story, let's address the only reason anyone might feel the least bit compelled to buy a ticket: the 3-D effects. But they're terrible, sorely lacking the perception depth of even Spy Kids 3-D, which also received an F grade from this critic.

In fact, it's a slightly more pleasant experience to watch the movie without those flimsy cardboard glasses. The images are a little blurred, but you can get that from any inattentive projectionist. And you avoid the pinkish-gray tint that the eyewear creates.

The plot was conceived by Rodriguez's son, Racer, when he was 7 years old. That explains why it seems derived from every made-for-Disney Channel movie ever, plus the lava scenes from his dad's third Spy Kids flick. There's a bright kid named Max (Cayden Boyd) who's bullied at school, so he retreats into the fantasies he doodles in class.

Most involve the adolescent superheroes Sharkboy (Taylor Lautner) and Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley), whose powers are pretty much summed up by their names. Sharkboy has a fin on his back and a perpetual snarl on his face. Real sharks smile more than this kid. Lavagirl can heat things to a boil and spray hot magma everywhere. Whoop-dee-doo.

The next step is creating a supervillain. Any movie that has comedian George Lopez as the bad guy is automatically in trouble. Lopez plays Max's real-life teacher, Mr. Electricidad, and the fantasy villain, Mr. Electricity, who doesn't have any particular scheme in mind except zapping children with lightning.

Also propped up for embarrassment are Kristin Davis (Sex and the City) and David Arquette (who knows a lot about embarrassment by now) as Max's parents, who have minor marital problems. Everything turns out fine in the end, but the movie takes much too long to get there.

Parents who take their children to this film are doing them a real disservice. Why spoil a child's first impressions of 3-D technology with this junk, when other options in the more accomplished Polarized 3-D format, often in IMAX, are available? Rodriguez deserves credit as a parent for encouraging Racer's creativity and earning potential. But the audience would be better served if Dad just taped Racer's ideas to the refrigerator.

Grade: F

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Cast: Cayden Boyd, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Dooley, George Lopez, David Arquette, Kristin Davis, Jacob Davich

Screenplay: Robert Rodriguez, Racer Rodriguez

Rating: PG; mild violence, crude humor

Running time: 94 min.

[Last modified June 8, 2005, 10:19:02]