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Gifts of compassion from the head and heart

Having survived cancer and hair loss, Bonnie Favetta donates her locks to help others afflicted. Her daughter joins in the effort.

By WAVENEY ANN MOORE
Published June 19, 2005

SEMINOLE - As the millennium approached, Bonnie Favetta spent Thanksgiving and Christmas under a cloud, hoping against hope that a lump the size of a pea in her breast would disappear.

"I didn't think that at 34, that with no family history of breast cancer, that I had breast cancer. I was floored. I was shocked," she said.

Favetta recalled listening stoically as a doctor told her what to expect: She would lose a breast and endure months of debilitating chemotherapy, followed by radiation. It wasn't until he mentioned that her hair would fall out from the treatment that she broke down.

In retrospect, Favetta said, the portending loss of her long, lustrous red hair was simply the final straw of a new and overwhelming burden.

But that's all over now. She has been cancer free for five years. Her hair has grown back.

Now the St. Petersburg native wants to lift the spirits of others who have lost their hair because of illness. That's the reason she and her 8-year-old daughter, Amber, walked into a salon before Memorial Day to have their hair cut. The hair will be sent to Locks of Love, an organization that provides wigs for financially disadvantaged children with medical hair loss.

Giving up her almost waist-length hair to benefit others was something she had to do, said Favetta, who will celebrate her 40th birthday on Saturday. "Ever since I've gotten through my ordeal, I feel as though I should be an advocate. I did the breast cancer three-day walk, from Boca Raton to Miami. It was a 60-mile walk over a weekend," she said.

That was in April 2002. She and Jennifer Pena, who works with Favetta at Cigna, raised $1,800 each for the walk. Favetta also tells others about her battle with cancer.

When she decided to donate her hair six months ago, she told her daughter.

"We went on the (Locks of Love) Web site and I showed her pictures. . . . I said, "This is something I want to do. Would you do this with me?' " Favetta said.

Amber, who will enter third grade at Oakhurst Elementary in August, hesitated. She didn't want to look like a boy, she said.

"I think her first perception was that I was going to shave her bald," her mother said.

About a month ago, the little girl announced that she would donate her hair as long as what remained touched her shoulders.

Favetta and her daughter went to a neighbor's house and asked her to take a photograph before they set off for nearby Salon Nautique last month. During an interview last week, mother and daughter proudly displayed ponytails that had been placed in a clear plastic bag for shipment to Locks of Love in Lake Worth.

The organization's custom-fitted wigs are provided free to children in families with incomes of $100,000 or less, said Linda Borum, assistant to the executive director. Depending on their financial obligations, families with larger incomes could get wigs free or pay on a sliding scale, she said. The wigs normally cost between $3,500 and $6,000, she said.

Molds are made of the recipient's head for the custom-fitted wigs, which take four to six months to produce. The wigs are made so that they cannot be dislodged. A child can play sports, Borum said.

"As far as someone trying to pull it off, that just wouldn't happen. We just don't recommend that they sleep in it. But, of course, it can be kept on for a sleepover," she said.

Donated hair must be at least 10 inches long. It takes six to 10 pony tails to make a wig. Borum said certain shades of hair, such as blond and red, are not donated as often as others.

"I am the only one in my family to have red hair, except for my daughter," Favetta said, adding that when her cancer was discovered, her hair was almost waist length.

She asked her sister-in-law to shave her head a month after starting chemotherapy. The treatments were excruciating, but Favetta said there was a funny moment she'll always treasure.

Her young children, Dean and Amber, had become accustomed to seeing her bald. One day, she bought a wig - red - and modeled it for husband Ron. The next morning, Amber was confused. Her mother was bald again.

Favetta laughed while recalling how her daughter looked at her and said, "Aren't you going to wear your hair hat today?"

[Last modified June 19, 2005, 00:38:17]