Lunch to ease parents' funeral costs
A benefit Friday will help the parents of Brooke Ingoldsby and the families of other Police Department employees.
By DONNA WINCHESTER
Published July 13, 2005
ST. PETERSBURG - When Michelle Allen arrives for a benefit luncheon at Carrabba's on Friday, she might think of the first time she ate at the Italian restaurant on Fourth Street N.
But she undoubtedly will think of the last time she ate there.
The first time was Valentine's Day 2004. She and her husband, Chris, and their 7-year-old daughter, Brooke, had just moved here from a small town in New York.
Chris had recently accepted a job with the St. Petersburg Police Department. Brooke was a second-grader at James B. Sanderlin Elementary School. Michelle was about to find out she was pregnant with her second daughter.
Brooke was excited to be going out for Valentine's Day, a "mommy and daddy" holiday. She wore her favorite dress. She polished her fingernails. She asked if she could put on a little makeup.
The last time Michelle ate at Carrabba's was Valentine's Day 2005. Her husband was with her, but Brooke was not. She had died three days earlier at Bayfront Medical Center, a few hours after she was struck by a car when she was let off her school bus on the wrong side of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Street N.
Chris' sergeant, Glen Robbins, arranged for the couple to have a quiet dinner the night before Brooke's memorial service. Neither Michelle nor Chris remembered it was Valentine's Day until halfway through the meal.
"Brooke had passed away on a Friday," Michelle recalled this week. "We went there on Monday. Neither of us felt like going. At the end of the meal, every single server gathered around our table and told us we didn't have a bill. They handed us an envelope full of money. They told us they wanted to do something for us and they didn't know what else to do."
After the funeral, Michelle and Chris began writing thank-you notes. They wrote one to the manager at Carrabba's, thanking him for everything his staff had done for them the night before Brooke's viewing. They also thanked him for giving them a beautiful memory of the previous Valentine's Day, when Brooke had been with them.
The manager was so stunned by the gesture that he vowed to do whatever he could to help the couple. He got in touch with Chris' sergeant, who told him the department was still helping the couple pay for Brooke's funeral expenses. Together, they came up with a plan.
They would throw a benefit luncheon in Brooke's memory with the proceeds going toward the debt. They decided that any money left over would go into a fund the Police Department has set up to help families of department employees who are in crisis, and toward a memorial to officers who have been killed in the line of duty.
Michelle has volunteered to help out at the luncheon.
"I just want to give something back," she said. "I just want to help."
Five months after her daughter's death, Mrs. Allen finds solace in the kindness of strangers and friends who have offered their support since Brooke died. Near the top of the list of friends is the Police Department, she said.
"Sgt. Robbins, Chris' sergeant, went with us to the funeral home the day after Brooke passed away," she said. "At the end, David Gross (the funeral director) tallied up the whole thing. When he came back in the room, he handed the bill to Sgt. Robbins.
"We didn't know what was going on. Sgt. Robbins said, "We want you to know you're not going to pay for this.' We never expected anything like that."
Since then, whenever the family receives additional invoices from the funeral home for any of a dozen expenses - the child-sized white casket, the floral sprays of pink roses, the white doves that were released at the grave site - the couple turn them over to Robbins.
"We told him we have no trouble paying, but he said he'd be hurt if we didn't let him pay the bill," Mrs. Allen said. "We do what he tells us."
Robbins, who has been with the department for 23 years, has an older brother who was injured in the line of duty. After the shooting, his brother decided to move his family to Annapolis, Md.
Robbins worried that after Brooke died, the Allens would move back to New York. Unwilling to lose a good officer, he wanted to show the couple they had an extended family in the St. Petersburg Police Department.
A number of years earlier, Robbins had helped start an organization within the department called St. Pete's Finest. Through the sale of mugs, T-shirts and golf towels printed with the Police Department emblem, money was raised to help the families of employees who were in crisis.
The group raised about $17,000 over the years. Then, City Council member Rick Kriseman got on board and helped the officers ramp things up a notch. A nonprofit organization was started, and a board of directors composed of community leaders was chosen.
The group became known as Heroes for St. Petersburg. The Allens were among the first people the group reached out to.
Now, Robbins would like to see the group build a memorial to St. Petersburg police officers who have been killed in the line of duty. There have been 12 such fatalities in the force's more than 100-year history, which is greater than the death toll in the county's other departments combined.
The memorial will cost a couple of thousand dollars, Robbins said. Once the group has raised a little money, its members will ask the community what the memorial should look like and where it should be placed.
In the meantime, the group will continue to reach out to families in need. The first priority at Friday's luncheon at Carrabba's, Robbins said, will be collecting enough money to make sure Brooke's funeral is paid in full.
IF YOU GOBrooke Ingoldsby's memorial luncheon will be held Friday at Carrabba's Italian Grill, 1951 Fourth St. N. There will be seatings at 11:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. Tickets are $20 and include an entree, a beverage and a dessert. They can be purchased at the door. Call 897-9375 for information.