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Backed by the music, she follows the dream

By ERNEST HOOPER
Published July 14, 2005

Through travels and travails, the grip has remained tight.

Through the pains of a crumbling relationship, the difficulties of a divorce and the struggles of being a single mom, her grasp has stayed strong.

Through it all, Cheryl Hawkins has never let go of her dream of being a jazz vocalist and recording star. She put the dream on hold to raise her son, Addon Barnett, but promised herself she would get back on stage when he got in high school.

"My music has kept me alive all my life," she said. "When I had nothing else, I had my music. Sometimes all I had was a hum, or a wail, like in the slave days. Sometimes all I could do was sit and moan.

"There were many times I thought I couldn't take it, the frustration, but there was something that wouldn't let me go."

Now that Addon will be a senior honor student at Boca Ciega this fall, Cheryl is singing at every chance and sounding a lot like the late, great Phyllis Hyman.

Maybe you heard Cheryl sing with the On Que Players Monday at Dino's in downtown St. Petersburg. Maybe you heard her sultry voice during the Miles Jaye Jazz Cafe at MOSI earlier this month. Maybe you caught her serenading shoppers in front of a Salvation Army kettle at Publix last Christmas.

By now, you've probably figured out that she has performed all over the bay area, and the pursuit of her elusive dream continues tonight at Dave's Aqua Lounge on Gandy Boulevard in St. Petersburg.

Of course, Dave's is a long way from a big-time studio. To pay the bills, Cheryl works days for the city of St. Petersburg. She does have a single, Mood For Love, being played on WTMP-AM 1150 and WRXB-AM 1590, but she is not exactly the kind of young starlet you see on American Idol. Ask how old she is, and Cheryl will say only she's "old enough to tell people, "Hold on because it does get better.' "

And for Cheryl Hawkins, life has never been better.

The dream began in Indianapolis, in Cheryl's house behind an old jazz club called the Hubbub. It wasn't uncommon for her mom to sing at the club, and it wasn't uncommon for Cheryl to listen from bed. And to dream.

"The music was just wailing through the night," Cheryl said. "Although I grew up in church, I knew at 7 years old I wanted to sing the kind of music that was coming from the Hubbub."

Eventually, the pursuit led her to enroll at Indiana University and major in music. She didn't want to be just someone who sang songs, she wanted to be a songstress who could read music and write her own compositions.

The singing career took a detour when she married a military man and moved to Germany, but she did find her way into some European clubs. After her husband was transferred to MacDill Air Force Base, the marriage soured and the dream was shelved.

Cheryl went from aspiring star to aspiring survivor. She continued to work on her music and be a player behind the scenes, but there were dark days.

"I've gone through everything a woman can go through," she said, "but I always got up."

When Addon started high school, Cheryl started singing. But she obsessed over becoming famous and grew frustrated. She didn't really get her groove back until she got the love back.

"It was taking me under," she said. "Finally, I had to tell myself if it doesn't happen, it's OK, because I love the music regardless. Yes, I want to make it, but as long as I get the chance to do it and have fun doing it, it's okay. Once I accepted that fact so many things began to happen for me.

"I know something is getting ready to happen. When it happens, where it happens, how it happens, I don't know. I just feel it inside."

Maybe what Cheryl Hawkins teaches us is that chasing the dream is as important as achieving it.

That's all I'm saying.

Ernest Hooper can be reached at 813 226-3406 or Hooper@sptimes.com

[Last modified July 14, 2005, 00:30:10]