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Film review

'Bears' hibernation ends

The bad news is that after a 29-year hiatus, the team and its coach are back in a remake that's pretty much the same as the original, except it's grouchier.

By STEVE PERSALL
Published July 21, 2005

In the upcoming documentary The Aristocrats, funnyman George Carlin makes a point that successful comedy is predicated on the element of surprise. Carlin's words echoed in my head while I wasn't laughing at a lot of what happens in Bad News Bears.

Surprise is practically impossible with Richard Linklater's movie, a remake of one of the biggest hits of 1976. The main difference between the two films is the article "the," in the original's title. In 1976 it was surprising to hear athletically challenged children cursing like sailors, playing baseball for a surly, alcoholic coach. Also that same year, Rocky combined with The Bad News Bears to redefine the sports underdog movie, a formula that hasn't changed after endless repetition by filmmakers.

Then there's the fact that Walter Matthau's replacement in the remake, Billy Bob Thornton, took this profane anti-role-model routine to the absolute limit two years ago in Bad Santa. Bad News Bears could be subtitled "Bad Piniella." Nobody tosses off irresponsible bons mots better than Thornton and although he's certainly the best reason to buy a ticket, he isn't enough to make this version special.

Thornton plays Morris Buttermaker, a pest exterminator and former pitcher who had a cup of coffee in the major leagues years ago. He has been drinking harder stuff ever since. Buttermaker has a side job now, coaching a youth baseball team of clumsy misfits who needed an injunction filed by a parent (Marcia Gay Harden) to compete. The obnoxious coach (Greg Kinnear) of the league's best team thinks their participation is insulting, which gives Buttermaker a speck of a reason to care about his players.

A live-armed pitcher (Sammi Kraft) who happens to be a girl and a budding punk (Jeff Davies) with a home run stroke help put the Bears into contention. Except for one minor twist, everything plays out as it did 29 years ago.

The only reason for a remake is that Bill Lancaster and two other writers now have more leeway with how much contribution to delinquency Buttermaker can get away with. The Bears' sponsor, advertised on their uniforms, is racier, along with the fan support it brings. A postgame party can take place at Hooters now, and the language these kids use begs for more soap in their mouths. But is anyone surprised at these shenanigans today? Or laughing as much as they did at the original? Or at other films? Probably not.

Linklater handled such humor with a fresher touch in School of Rock, although he retains a knack for drawing natural performances from his youngest actors. Kraft is a passable substitute for Tatum O'Neal, and Timmy Deters' tantrums as Tanner are the spit and image of Chris Barnes' in the first version. The Bears are more culturally diverse now, with Hispanic and Indian players, even a paraplegic, allowing Thornton a few more politically incorrect zingers. But too much of the film's humor is based on the bumbling play. How many different ways are there to miss a fly ball or boot a grounder? Not many, as it turns out. Sitting through Bad News Bears is something like watching a Tampa Bay Devil Rays game; it's familiar and sometimes fun, but this isn't the game we should pay so much to see.

Grade: C

Director: Richard Linklater

Cast: Billy Bob Thornton, Greg Kinnear, Marcia Gay Harden, Sammi Kraft, Timmy Deters, Brandon Craggs, Jeff Davies, Tyler Patrick Jones, Troy Gentile

Screenplay: Bill Lancaster, Glenn Ficarra, John Requa, based on Lancaster's screenplay for the 1976 film

Rating: PG-13; strong profanity, brief sexual situations, alcohol abuse

Running time: 116 min.

[Last modified July 20, 2005, 09:57:02]