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Funeral home director kind, respectful

Re: Mood at a mixer? Far from funereal. Aug. 20 Times, and Chamber mixer at funeral home inappropriate, Aug. 24 letter to the editor:

I, too, was quite surprised to read about funeral director Barry Brewer Jr. hosting a Chamber of Commerce gathering at a funeral home and doing such things as taking photos of guests in a coffin and serving beverages, using a coffin as an ice chest.

But please allow me to tell you another tale about Barry Brewer Jr. of Brewer and Sons Funeral Homes. About five months ago my 6-year-old daughter was killed in a car crash. Her 10-year-old brother, Casey, barely escaped death and was emotionally scarred and physically maimed for life. As a pastor who has presided over countless funerals and memorials, I learned the hard way that nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the immense pain and shock of that loss.

I asked a colleague to call somebody, anybody, to retrieve and prepare my daughter's body in Spring Hill as I stayed with my son, who was undergoing plastic surgery after having been taken by helicopter to Tampa. Hours later, I received a call from Barry Brewer Jr., whom I had never met or spoken to before. Detecting, no doubt, that I was a mess after experiencing the sudden, unexpected death of a young child, Mr. Brewer said to me, "Please trust me enough to let me take care of this." Trust him, I did.

Barry talked me through what I had to do, including selecting clothes in which to bury my little girl. Everyone else, from the receptionist, to the office manager, to the ushers at the funeral, to the burly men, the following day, who waited in the distance to throw dirt in my daughter's grave after the internment service, were utterly appropriate, gentle, and generous.

When I read about the "funeral mixer" for the Chamber of Commerce hosted by Mr. Brewer, at first I gasped. And then I smiled. "Just like the Apostle Paul," I said to myself, "Barry Brewer is helping to take the sting out of death."

Death, even the sudden and tragic death of a 6-year-old child, is a part of life. Some persons, such as clergy, physicians, end-of-life caregivers and funeral directors, straddle the chasm between life and death every day. Without some humor and brevity, burnout would be inevitable.

I applaud Barry Brewer Jr. for showing me and others a noble and compassionate path through the gnarly jungles of death. I believe that my little Maya, if she were alive today, would have found the "funeral mixer" to be creative, respectful and amusing.

Funeral home "mixer' totally inappropriate

Re: Mood at a mixer? Far from funereal, Aug. 20 Times:

I couldn't believe what I read regarding the Hernando County Chamber of Commerce and the "mixer" at Brewer and Sons Funeral Home. Barry Brewer said he wanted guests "to do things you wouldn't do in a funeral home."

How inappropriate to have karaoke in the chapel, food and drinks served out of coffins filled with ice, let alone people having their pictures taken in a casket and told to "be a smiling corpse."

At first I thought it was just me, since I had buried my husband only six weeks ago, but I don't think so.

I would find this offensive any time. I am just thankful I did not let Brewer Funeral Home be in charge of my husband's funeral.

[Last modified August 26, 2005, 01:36:21]